Voles, Moles, Squirrels... OH MY

Last fall I left you with moles going into hibernation somewhere beneath my rose bushes.  My yard had several mole habitrails running behind the house as well as several vole holes.  Warm days would bring fresh activity on the mole trails and I would punch them down and drop in a few pellets of poison.  The voles remained very quiet during the winter, even on warm days.  The poison in my traps sat for months untouched and eventually molded over.  EW

Then in March we brought down the trees.  They fell so hard the house shook.  I think that rattled a few cages below decks.  For days we would roll, flip, and drop the heavy logs across the yard trying to get them into a reasonable pile.  Then we rented a wood chipper and ran it for two days.  I'm pretty sure that ended any attempts to expand Mole Nation across my yard.  Those little buggers packed their bags and headed for a quieter neighborhood.

So far, pound on wood, ZERO mole activity and I haven't seen any vole activity either!  I'm not so naive to think they won't be back but maybe I can get my yard in order before they return.  ...in several years.

The squirrels, however, remain.  All tree access to my roof has been eliminated so no more pitter patter echoing through the house on a quiet morning.  That has been awesome, but they are still gnawing on the trashcans and plastic chairs.  Hubby bought an electronic noise thing that buzzes and squawks like a hawk.  It sat mere feet away from my trashcans where squirrels sat uninterrupted as they tried to chew the handles off.  The box was more effective is annoying the humans than any squirrels.  It's time to bring out the hot sauce spray again.

The Acorn Drop

Not too long ago, maybe last month, I posted how the squirrels like to pluck the tiny bartlett pears from the trees in my front yard and toss them to my roof where they roll down over the aluminum awning making an annoying noise.  And as I said in that post, bartlett season was coming to a close and acorn season was about to start.  Well, we are now full-on in acorn tossing season.

Fortunately, the oak trees are in the neighbors yards.  Unfortunately, we park under them.  I know for a fact that some of the dings on top of my car are not from hail, but from acorns.  The other day we noticed they particularly like jettisoning the nuts into the bed of our pickup truck.  This has a double bonus for the tree rats - satisfying bangs that annoy the humans AND the fruit gathered in one spot.  I don't think, however, they have figured out how to get into the truck to retrieve their nuts.  That means we drive around with what equates to marbles rolling back and forth in our truck, further annoying the humans.

A Bradford Pear Tree

There happens to be TWO Bradford pear trees in my front yard.  Two.  Sounds lovely, eh?  Not really.

The first problem is that my postage stamp of a front yard receives zero sunlight.  Not doppled or scattered.  Zero.  Dark as a damn dungeon and combined with the washout that occurs with every rain, nothing grows underneath as a result.

This is a view when you look up.  And yes, that would be one of the nine zillion acrobatic squirrels that also reside in my neighborhood.

In case you need a better view of a squirrel...

 

So combine a Bradford pear with those dipshit squirrels and we arrive at the biggest problem - the actual "pears".  I don't know squat about these pear trees.  I always thought given enough time they would eventually produce legitimate fruit.  Instead, they produce tiny bulbs that don't get any bigger than a thumbtack.

Hmmm... "thumbtack" is an apt description.  Because when you step on one barefoot they hurt like hell.

Now the squirrels like to "harvest" the tiny pears.  They don't sit in the tree and pack their little cheeks, oh no, they pluck the pear, toss it to my roof, let it roll down, over the metal awning, TINK TINK TINK TINK, and litter my front walk.

My first year in this house it took me forever to figure out that maddening sound.

This is a picture of my neighbor's house.  It's not nearly as covered as my front walk but I swept before I thought to take a picture.

Bradford Pear season is nearly over.  Soon, as in days, it will be acorn season.  The house on either side of me each has a large, mature oak tree.  Fortunately neither one has a metal shed under their trees, unlike the poor sap at the end of the street.  That sounds exactly like a machine gun.  At six AM.

SundayIn My City - Fall In The Park

Post-Halloween jack-o-lantern (squirrels have nibbled on it)

The vibrant fall colors have faded to more subtle browns and yellows.

Squirrel Weather Report

Between the wooly caterpillers and squirrels you're supposed to be able to predict the severity of the coming winter.  I haven't seen any caterpillers to determine their wooliness, but I have plenty of squirrels romping around in my yard where, from my breakfast table, I can easily report that St. Louis is in for a cold, frigid winter.

The typically sleek brown squirrels have sprouted a thick coat.  See for yourself...

It doesn't take any coaxing to get them to play in the yard but I had the leftover chestnuts from my CSA box so I tossed those outside the kitchen.  The squirrels were funny to watch.  There were probably five different squirrels darting in and out.  Only one could be at the nut pile at a time.  He would grab his nut and then scamper off then someone else would dart in.  If one lingered too long the waiting squirrel would try to chase him off - and they were quite vocal about it.

Shouldn't He Be HIBERNATING?

The squirrels amuse me to no end, but the chipmunks really fascinate me.  There are a few that live between the few yards by my house and occasionally I will spot one for a few seconds.  They aren't nearly as bold as the squirrels and quickly dart into hiding.

Around Thanksgiving we saw our last chipmunk and I figured they had started hibernation.  The hole where I had spotted activity over the summer was covered in matted leaves.  Farewell to spring.  Imagine my surprise as I looked out my window while eating breakfast and saw this

He popped up again a few days later

And here is the new hole, smack dab in the middle of my front yard (yeah, please ignore the complete lack of lawn.  We're hoping with the tree trimming a few months ago sunlight may actually reach the ground)

Friday Fragments - December 17, 2010

The year is quickly coming to a close.  I have to say I'm ready for the fresh start that comes with the new year.  That's not to say this year has been bad, but it's over so let's celebrate and move on.  The one cool thing about Friday Fragments is that it is like an weekly journal and I can go back to review the year's events - twisted ankle, removed gall bladder, my son announcing that I'm going to be a grandma!!!!

But the year is not over yet so let's make a few more entries in that journal...

*Last Friday was our office party, hosted at a coworker's house.  We stayed much too long, drank way too much, and laughed and laughed and laughed.  Somehow "hummus" has become an inside joke.

*Several years ago I compiled a list of Oscar nominees with some sort of desire to see how many I had watched.  Now that I have Tivo and Netflix I'm managing to click off many more movies from that list.  Last week I committed to scrolling through the programming lists, hunting down these movies.  My husband has taken up my cause, helping me search out the old gems.  I've already knocked out three this week.

*After running errands in my old neighborhood on Saturday, we stopped by our favorite donut shop to pick up a dozen.  The bearclaws/apple fritters are the hugest things you've ever seen.  They easily fill a dinner plate - like funnel cakes on crack.  Of course we got some of our other favorites like long johns and jelly filled.

 

*Ian had a hockey game on Saturday (smeared the other team 15-3... AND HE GOT A GOAL!).  Amanda came to see him play and then stuck around while The Husband and I ran our errands.  The two of them pulled out all of the Christmas decorations, set up the tree, hung the lights and decorated the living room.  They didn't touch the tree ornaments so I spent chilly Sunday loading up my tree.

*Sunday morning we awoke to a very pretty winter scene with snow falling until noon.  It was much much too cold to go outside and play although I did walk around the yard with the camera.  Then I ran back inside and made a steaming cup of hot cocoa to eat with my giant bearclaw for breakfast.  Pure delight.

*You do know that all diets are suspended between Thanksgiving and New Years, right?  Hot cocoa and bigass donuts are allowed for breakfast.  It's how we insulate our bodies during these bitterly cold months.  Anybody in a warm climate is just showing their support for our cause.

*Squirrel Update:  I just noticed this week how big and fluffy the neighborhood squirrels are.  HUGE.  I missed the wooly caterpillars, but it's obvious the squirrels knew a cold winter was ahead.  I figured Wednesday's ice storm would have squirrels sliding down the driveways, but they're keeping their footing quite well.  Humans aren't managing the ice nearly so well.  The news yesterday was loaded with highway closings, crashes, bumps, falls, and one little puppy who fell through the ice in a pond.  He is evidently recovering well at a local shelter.

Fruitcake Update:  One slice still lingers from my first batch.  This weekend I plan to soak more fruit so we can have a cake on Christmas.  Even if you hate hate hate fruitcake, the SMELL of one baking is so perfect for the season.  Bake one and take it to work.  I insist.

Check out everyone else sharing their fragments:

Squirrel Report - Jan 27, 2010

Observing squirrels seems to consume a lot of my outdoor time so maybe it's time to properly chronicle it?

Are there squirrels where you live?  I had out-of-town visitors from Canada totally captivated by the squirrel antics in my yard.  Can't blame them because I'm rather taken by the little suckers too.  It just never dawned on me that some people might not be inundated by fluffy long tail rodents scrambling through the yard and up into the trees.

Spring is fun as the babies descend out of the nests and flip and jump and basically behave like kittens on crack.  But it's not time for that.  Not yet.  We're still in full-on winter mode.  If there are any babies in the tree tops, they are burrowed deep in the nest keeping warm.

Yesterday leaving work I saw a squirrel in the basic winter pose - ass up, foraging through lawn and flower beds.

Did you know squirrels have ADHD?  Yeah, it's been diagnosed.  I'm sure I read it somewhere, so it's true.  if you watch them you'll understand.  They start off collecting acorns and carefully storing them in the yard below.  It's important to hide acorns so the jackass from the neighboring tree doesn't steal your stash.  Soon they discover a faster more efficient way of getting acorns instead of running up and down trees, they start tossing them from the top of the trees.  Then they discover the totally awesome sound acorns make when hitting the aluminum shed in the backyard.  So then it turns into a game and not so much about collecting acorns.  And then their little squirrel friends hear all the racket and try to get in on the action.  An argument ensues as they chatter back and forth from different tree tops.  The chatter turns to smack and suddenly one squirrel lurches at the other - good damn thing they're aerodynamic because launching from one tree to another would cause other mammals sudden death or broken bones.  Not squirrels, they're badass tree jumpers.

So the other squirrel says "dude, I'm a badass tree jumper.  That was a fucking FLOP."  And then he lurches into another tree.  The squirrels proceed to outdo each other in tree jumping, tap dancing on roofs, and running at lightening speed down tree trunks.  Finally one squirrel reaches the other and he tries out his new wrestling moves.  SMACK DOWN!

Acorns?  Who cares?  Did you see that AWESOME move????

Yeah so winter comes and humans stop leaving food in easy to access places so Mr. Squirrel resorts to eating acorns.  Unfortunately once the bigass pile by the shed in the backyard is depleted (damn neighboring squirrels totally looted that pile, by the way) he's forced to look for that hidden stash.  If only he could remember where he hid the acorns!  Remember that awesome wrestling move?  Yeah, good days.  So now he's digging through the yard.  It's like an Easter Egg hunt.  AWESOME! 

And that is why you have acorns buried in the hanging fern you brought inside three months ago.  Soon tiny oak trees should be sprouting.  Thank you spastic squirrels.