I've encountered several people who pride themselves in their ability to throw things away. Being a lifelong packrat/family historian/boarderline hoarder some of these trashcan fillers outright horrify me.
One of the most painful things for me to find in an antique store are old pictures. Why didn't the family keep these treasures? Did they not care? Did they not know what to do with them? Was there even anyone left to pass the pictures to? How dreadful that my great grand children might possibly not appreciate the stack of old faces I have so carefully collected and charted on our family tree.
And then I remember there is a whole breed of people out there who have no space in their sparse lives for old things. If something is tattered it feels dirty. Who wants dirt and grime in their pristine homes?
Recently I've had to come in behind such a people in different situations. While coming in after a non-organized person who never throws anything away is a lot of work, there are many gems to be found in the depths. Perseverance pays off. Behind the tosser is... nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is sparse.
More often than not the sparseness reveals only what the tosser wants you to see. It's manipulative. It doesn't answer my question, it answers only what they want to reveal. When I seek coloring books I'm offered blocks; when I need wheels I'm offered pegs; when I hope for explanations I'm given emptiness. It's bleak.
Another trait I find with tossers is a lack of organization. It's easy to sort three items, it's overwhelming to deal with thirty. I know a woman who hates clutter so much that cleaning involves either tossing or hiding. When visiting her son's home she tried to put dishes away, driving her daughter-in-law insane because the small plates and cups and bowls were UNDER the larger items. WHO DOES THAT? At first the daughter-in-law wondered if it was an intentional act to alienate her but no, it was done in other places in other ways. Then DIL started to look around the in-law's house. It was neat and tidy but not organized. Drawers and cabinets revealed a mishmash of disjointed items. I know one woman who can't handle seeing dirty dishes so much that she actually throws away dishes. My inner cheapskate is outright astonished at such an act!
I know that not all tossers are unorganized but I'm finding more and more the two traits go hand in hand.
My beloved sister-in-law and I had a conversation around this topic yesterday. In describing my style of cleaning and organization, "My office may look like a tribe of rapid monkeys were set loose but all of my drawers and cabinets are very orderly." Even as a kid when my mom stood in the doorway proclaiming my room looked like a pigsty and pondering which are clean clothes how I ever find anything - trust me, I knew. I have a process and don't fuck with it. My layers of clutter are merely waiting patiently to be organized.
I'm sure somewhere between clutter-waiting-for-organization and bleak-sparseness is a happy medium. I'm quite happy in my cluster of stuff, just don't ever tell me if I haven't touched it in three months I don't need it.
