Advice To My Pregnant Daughter

Yes, another grandchild is on the horizon.  If you're keeping count that would be THREE grandbabies!  This arrival will be a first for my daughter.

There is so much to say and so many questions to answer.  Of course I am instantly brought back to my first pregnancy.  26 years ago today I was eight months along and done being pregnant.  If the icky pukey morning sickness stage is miserable, just wait, seven/plus pounds of wiggly fetus pressing on your bladder, colon, stomach, kidneys, rib cage, lungs and whatever else that stinker can stretch out and reach will make you wish you were hugging a toilet, hacking up a handful of crackers.

For however gross and uncomfortable it all is and will be, it is totally worth it.  This is a unique journey not afforded everyone.  And your first time?  Truly magical.  This is the time you can truly appreciate what miracles your body can produce.  There is an actual PERSON growing in there.  I remember rubbing the nearly non-existent bump and humming songs.  If you love music I'm sure it's because how much exposure you had before you took your first breath.  Unlike my next two pregnancies, when I had oooohhh YOU running amuck, I could focus completely on the changes my body was making as you grew.  I found it fascinating and I hope you do too.

So, for my actual advice:

Take time to journal your experience.  This baby will not allow you the peace and quiet necessary to gather your thoughts during future pregnancies.

Sleep.  I'm pretty sure I taught you the value of sleep, but let me remind you.  It is as vital to your health and sanity as eating healthy.  Take naps often.  This is good training for after baby arrives that you let the dirty dishes sit so you can grab essential sleep.

Eat.  And eat right.  At the moment anything you can keep in your stomach is "right" but soon you'll be ready to rampage a buffet like a million teenage boys.  Keep yourself in check.  Milk, which includes cheese and milkshakes, are essential, but try to do so in moderate amounts.

Exercise.  I just could not master this one and am still paying the price.  Keep your body active, stretch regularly. 

DITCH ALL ADVICE BOOKS AND WEBSITES.  I quickly learned to disregard all of those helpful tips coming from every damn corner.  It's overwhelming, frequently counter-intuitive, and most of it does not apply to your situation.  Find a zen way to blow past it.  You only need to listen to your mother and your doctor :)  Actually, if you come across books like "What to Expect When You're Expecting" take them for the spirit they are intended, simply as a guide.  Seek advice for the clinical stuff and developmental stages, but all of the rest is just noise and treat it as such.

Building off that last one, avoid pregnancy/delivery war stories.  I've warned you about this one before and I'm sure you've already been subjected to horror stories.  Find a way to escape these conversations.  They are not helpful and could actually build unnecessary fear.

Fear.  It is natural.  I went through crazy bouts of paranoia and the nightmares were unreal.  They make sense if you think about it, your body is forcing you to protect this baby.  It is what makes you into a growling momma bear.  So hearing all of that other crap scaring you about delivery or your future baby's health is totally unneeded.  Your active imagination will fuel all of that without any help.  Find a grounded source to talk these things out - my ear is always available.

Take some time to consider your parenting style.  Think about what you did and did not like about your upbringing.  Be careful with the I-never's because that will bite you in the ass. 

God gives us nine months for a reason.  You may be ready to hold your little bundle right here and now, but the rest of us, especially daddy, need that time to absorb and prepare.  Be patient if he isn't quite on the same page.  Dads don't tend to accept the reality of a baby until they actually hold that pink, screaming child.  It is also during this time that your body trains you for waking up for a baby eating every two hours, adjusting your sense of smell so you can literally sense danger and identify your baby from all of the other ones in the nursery, and widening your hips so you can pass a watermelon.  It is all for a reason.  Ride the tide and appreciate it as literal steps in your development as a mother.

This baby is a blessing and my heart is simply bursting with pride and anticipation.

With all of my love,
Mom

December 1, 2013

Heeeeeyyyyy....

Yeah, I fell off the face of the planet.  Blame it on Candy Crush Saga.  I'm totally addicted to that stupid game and every time I have a free moment on the computer I'm trying to defeat yet another level.

While I was screwing off with computer games I sprouted a grand daughter, kind of a major development in my world.  Of course she is absolutely beautiful.

I've been missing my daily posts and I think life is starting to finally settle down so let's see how close I get to more frequent blogging activity.  There are plenty of pictures that have accumulated so it shouldn't be a problem to keep the momentum going.  Right?  We'll see.

Friday Fragments - August 2, 2013

It's been a while since I've done this and it looks like Mrs 4's isn't hosting at the moment.  So I'll just frag here.

Let's see, since my last fragment back in... March?  I have bought and moved into a house.  Big ass ordeal but I love my new home.

We finally rolled out the database at work that was supposed to roll out last September, then October, then December, then January.  hahahaha.  June 1st!  It was not smooth, AT ALL.  We are still mopping up the fallout.  Which by the way, I closed on my house June 13th.  So my stress levels were astronomic as you can imagine. 

My kid is forced to change high schools as a result of this move.  Unhappy and excited all rolled into one.  He is hoping to run into old friends from when we lived here 7 years ago.

I'm getting a second grandbaby!!!!!!  A girl is expected in November and we will share middle names.  That makes me ridiculously happy.  So in the middle of moving, hottest day of the year, sweating like a dog, I'm crying happy tears on the sidewalk where they decided to share this news.  Buttheads.

Recently we spent a weekend with my college roommate who I haven't seen for a while.  It was a great time to catch up, hang out, and relax.  It was a mini vacation that I very truly needed.  Our husbands hit it off so I hope to have more frequent encounters.  Even though I live literally two blocks away from her dad's house it is likely she will take up my offer to stay at my house.  Dad's gets crowded with other family members and this would save her a hotel stay.  This thought excites me to no end.

So, what's new with you?  Any big plans to finish out the summer? 

Friday Fragments - December 21, 2012

Aha!  We survived the Mayan apocalypse.  So, are you disappointed or relieved?  Personally, I think we missed a golden opportunity to consume massive amounts of Mexican food.  We thought it was a grand idea at work but we had a whole buffet of food left over from the potluck the day before.  Maybe on Wednesday when we return we'll celebrate the Mayans.

Last weekend my older son got married.  It was a beautiful wedding and a very fun reception. 

After much coaxing my daughter got the teenager on the dance floor.

 

 Of course the star of the show was my grandson, the ring bearer

He promptly passed out

Daddy posing by him

Because our groom had been a ring bearer 20 years ago and also passed out at the reception

Movie suggestion for the Christmas Season - The Bishop's Wife.  I see it's scheduled to play a couple of times on TCM today (Sunday) at 7pm and midnight.  I thought it was a sweet film that captured the Christmas spirit very well.  Please make a point of looking for it.

My plan for the weekend is to make cookies!!!!  Hubby doesn't want me to go overboard, except of course, to make plenty of peanut butter.  I figured I will make the batters and probably use only half of each, freezing the rest.  Then I can have fresh baked cookies later on.  We'll see.  I might just go overboard after all.

May everyone have a very merry Christmas!

Sunday In My City - Family Time

Today I got to spend a little time with my grandson.  I figure it's been a while since you've seen him and let's be honest, he was my favorite sight today (although seeing all three of my kids at one time was pretty awesome).

He's a busy little guy.  Wearing a batman cape (all his daddy's doing) he's digging through mama's purse and proceeded to pull out three Sharpies and two ink pens before finding her keys.

He got ahold of the other grandma's camera and snapped a picture.

 From a photography standpoint I really like the quality of this picture.

After 15 different shots my daughter finally caught both of us smiling at the same time.

Friday Fragments - August 31, 2012

I'm baaaaaaack!!!!

I took a wee little Blogcation as I ironed out crap at home.  I think this happened last August too.  Not that anything has settled down, I just missed you so much and had to get back in the pool!

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While we were apart you missed my grandbaby's first birthday.  Yes, he is one whole year old.  Not at all possible, is it?

Need a good laugh?  Here he is with his cake

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My youngest finally got his driver's permit!!!!  He hasn't been behind the wheel yet, which I'm sure is simply killing him.  Getting that stupid permit has been sheer torture.  He has had the book to study for the test since his birthday in May.  Finally, two weeks ago, he announced he was ready for the test.  Hubby took him up for the test and he totally nailed it.  I think he missed two questions (see what studying can do??? - oh wait, he's not reading this, but yeah, that's the moral of the story - study).  So they go up to the desk with birth certificate in hand and nooooo it's not good enough to simply know ones social security number, this particular office insists upon seeing the card.  Guess who can't find the SS card?  Moi.  We turned the house inside out looking for it.  I know I had it, I remember taking it to the tax prep office last spring and I think I made a photo copy of it for his work permit.  WHERE IS IT????  

I never did find it.  So I finally look up the social security administration online to find out what I have to do to replace a lost card.  I gathered up the necessary paperwork, made sure I went overboard and got extra items on the list just in case, took an hour off work, grabbed the kid and headed to the local SS office.  We waltzed in, took a number and before I could sit down for what I was sure was going to be the most ridiculously long wait imaginable, I was called to the window.  Badda - bing- badda - boom, we were out of there WITH a temporary card.  A-MAZING! 

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And in other kid news, we will be spending this weekend moving my daughter into her new apartment.  This will be the first time she won't have extra roommates other than her boyfriend so it's an exciting time for her.  I hope this means a little tranquility in their lives!  They certainly need it.

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As I write this we're keeping an eye on the sky.  Big ugly clouds have already rolled into town, the remnants of Hurricane Isaac have reached St. Louis.  We're hoping for a good soaking rain after a summer of drought, but it's more likely there will be lots of flooding and probably a few rounds of tornados.  It's kind of weird to be in the middle of the country and have to deal with a hurricane.  Several others have made this route, including Katrina.

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Work is absolutely crazy right now.  We are about to roll out a new database.  If you've never suffered that fate, let me tell you it is downright miserable.  Especially for your IT department.  Big boss took pity on me and my partner in crime and sent us out of the office last Thursay for a day at the ballpark.  We sat ten rows behind the dugout, in the sun.  Fabulous day!  St. Louis Cardinals beat the Houston Astros 11-5 (if I happened to remember the score incorrectly, sorry.  Bottom line - we won).

Keith Turns 23

Last week my middle child turned 23


TwentyTHREE! 

He even requested my pineapple upside-down cake.

But the star of the show was his ten month old son

Sunday in My City - Grad Party

Last week I missed posting as I was recovering from the grad party held the previous night.  I may have had a few too many - felt great that night and like hell the next day.  It only makes sense to share highlights today.

The grads were Piranha's college twins.  While they were the stars of the show, they were upstaged by the grandbabies - mine and Booty's.

The most precious part of the whole night for me was seeing all of our kids together.  It's been a long time - they pretty much went their own directions once they got drivers licenses in their grubby hands and discovered jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends, college... *sigh*

 My guy sought out the girls for attention - crawled right up and started babbling.

 Finally the babies drifted to sleep and the party kicked in (ha!  it was in full gear from the beginning - only my attention shifted once the babies left the room).

 

The twins have moved back home while they send out resumes and go on interviews.  For Piranha's sake this won't last too long. 

Friday Fragments - April 27, 2012

Soooooooo....  I took a vacation from blogging, a "blogcation", during my busy season at work.  Gotta say it was refreshing as I had put a lot of pressure on myself to keep up with my posts.  Of course I'm going to have days like today where it's past lunch time and I'm still trying to compose the first three words.

So much has happened the last month.  Of course I didn't take the time to jot any of it down, although there were many ocassions I thought to myself, "hmmm this would be a great blog post!"

Nothing has changed in  my life - still married, still living in St. Louis Missouri, my big kids are plugging away at their jobs and generally busy being adults, my youngest still lives at home, and my brother continues to occupy my guest room as he contemplates an escape back to Florida.

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My youngest has taken up Ultimate Frisbee, a sport completely foreign to my brain.  It's a version of football (American football) so it's basically toss the object to each other while trying to keep it away from the other team while running the proper direction down a field.  Unlike football you don't toss the disk (official term, not "frisbee") into the endfield but someone has to be there to catch it.  Watching a few rounds of this game I've decided it's a team level form of keep away.  I'm sure it was dreamt up one night after drinking several cans of beer while standing in a park and holding a frisbee.  Like rugby, it reeks of drunk man rules.

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Easter was fabulous.  It's been a long time since we've celebrated Easter ON the actual day.  Usually it's a weekend or two later.  Eleven people converged on my mother's house.  She has ample space in most of her rooms, however her dining room is meant for a family of four to be comfortably seated, maybe five, definitely not more than six.

This was also the first time in many many years that Easter was not rainy, or cold, or basically unsuitable to be outdoors.  IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!  After we squished into her dining room for lunch we scrambled out to the backyard.  My kids tossed the frisbee/disk back and forth, my mom and I blew bubbles at the baby and the men stood on the porch supervising the mayhem.

I posted a video on facebook of my kids.  They got into the plastic eggs and started tossing them at each other.  "Tossing" sounds so gentle, they were beaning the crap out of each other and I'm surprised none of the eggs were broken in the process.

****

And the Grandbaby.  The child is huge.  He is 8 months old and is already wearing 1 yr clothing.  He's crawling like a pro and pulling up on furniture.  He's trying to walk and talk, but isn't quite there yet.  He's determined and will master all of that and more.

Here he looks exactly like his father at this age.

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I'm so happy to get back in the saddle of blogging.  You cannot imagine all the words jumbled up in my head!  Thank you Mrs. 4444's for gathering us together to share our experiences, unload our thoughts, and to play meet and greet.

Friday Fragments - February 24, 2012

Oh this week has been eventful in many ways.  This is what I get for bemoaning a boring life, right?
Over the weekend my future daughter-in-law took the baby with her parents to visit her brother in Florida.  My grandbaby got to go to the beach!!!!  From the texts and pictures it looks like he had a great time.

*****

As they drove back to Missouri, my brother was making his way to Florida.  I'm quite sure they passed each other.  After a blown tire and a midnight fiasco trying to repair it, he managed to get to Florida, retrieve what he needed out of his storage locker and return three days later.  Sadly the shrimp vendors only come out on the weekend so he didn't bring back any fresh shrimp.  DARN!

*****

I made a special trip myself - to the ER!  Don't worry, I'm fine.  I have a history of rapid heartbeat and had a little episode.  I went in to just be safe that it wasn't something truly scary.  Over the last 25 years I've visited about half of the ER's in the St. Louis area. That means I have a few more to go.  I went to Mercy Hospital (recently renamed from St. John's - a change I'm still getting used to).  I had decent service although there has to be latex in some part of the EKG leads because I still have a rash from them! 

*****

In other news, I managed to smack my leg into the toilet seat.  I heard a crack, no not from my knee, WORSE... I managed to BREAK THE TOILET.  Okay, just the toilet seat, but it was still a major inconvenience.  Nothing like trying to do your business with the toilet lid resting on your back while keeping the seat in place with your thighs and not tipping over.  That is way too much coordination for me during the day, much less at 2am.  This required a trip to Walmart, a new seat selection and then installation.  Why is it necessary for men (I don't know a single woman guilty of this) to rachet every single screw, nut, and bolt at it's absolute tightest?  I didn't mess with the installation, but there was a lot of swearing and grumbling and seeking of alternate tools to undo the old seat and then rachet the new one down so the next sucker stuck with removing it will have to swear, grumble and seek alternate tools.  Vicious circle.

*****

AND THEN... I would have posted this mess sometime on Friday but I made the mistake of getting my eye exam (another trip to Walmart).  I love those wonky eye drops where I can't read shit.  Of course they wait until after your eyes are all doped up before they ask you for payment and signing the payment slip.  I'm pretty sure I've mortgaged off one of my children.  Sorry kids. 

Then, before we got home there was a panic call from my brother, back in town less than 24 hours and sitting roadside with a flat.  We ended up sitting with my brother as he waited for a tow truck and then at the tire shop.

*****

I've had three days off work, which I had been wanting, just not like this.  And now I need to get back to work so I can relax!  :)

Friday Fragments - January 20, 2012

The plague infested us two weeks ago but the cough lingers.  I stopped popping cough drops only three days ago.  I'm ready to move onto woes... like complaining about the bitter cold.  And I do that sooooo well.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I don't have much to report from the last week.  I realized yesterday that I hadn't posted since Sunday.  So much for keeping up with that New Year's resolution that I didn't bother to make.

The one thing that I did do of note was get to watch the grandbaby overnight last Saturday.  I finally got the video to post on FaceBook, but I can't seem to get it to load on YouTube so I can share it here. 

Oh well, it's a short post today.  Just waving HI to all of my visitors.

Sunday In My City - From the Couch

This is what I've been doing all morning!

Saturday Cuteness - January 7, 2012

Friday Fragments - Dec 16,2011

For once, a week that hasn't whizzed past me in lightening speed!  Welcome to my fragmented Friday, hosted by Mrs. 4444's over at Half Past Kissing Time.  It's lots of fun to peek into everyone's world...

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 My youngest finally displayed an genuine bout of teenaged defiance last night.  He pulled up something on the internet and told me he really wants it for Christmas.  It was head phone amplifiers (seriously?  Who the hell makes something like that???)   I told him rather flatly that there is not a chance in hell I would ever buy something like that.  Without missing a beat and almost with a snotty tone he said, "well I'll just buy that myself."  I didn't even have a comeback because I was so dazzled by his defiance.  My laid back, lets everything roll off his back, child reared up with a streak that both pissed me off and honestly, made me proud.  Yeah, he smarted off, but it was brillant.

It was clear he had mulled it over some.  He came back later and said he'll just have his brother buy it for him.  Hmmm.... can't just go off and buy shit for yourself online without a credit card?  Well, I guess a maternal reprimand wasn't necessary after all.  I'm going to guess somebody is going to have to suffer with regular headphones sans the amplifier for a few years.

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At work I label all of our computers with human names.  It makes it easier to discuss and track them on the inventory instead of using ID numbers or serial numbers.  I keep an ongoing list of possible names but with our latest delivery I offered the CEO to name her new laptop.  She decided to use her mother's name, Beverly.  The rest of us pondered this logic for ourselves.  We agreed, that the CEO can do whatever she chooses, but the rest of us have NO desire to have our mothers sitting on our desks at work.  Moms cause us enough headache without the added burden of computer fiascos being credited to them as well.  I think of "Violet" who has been reprimanded to my office for permanent sitting as she misbehaves regularly when in the field (damn thing was a lemon right out of the box).  I'm mighty glad it's not my mom, sitting there, glaring at me, taunting me to fix her yet again.  Yeah, annonomous female names work best for me.

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Dear husband, it's morning, please do not hit me with a barrage of questions about stuff that will be tended to in 10 hours.  I DO NOT FUNCTION IN THE MORNING.  Go back to bed, it's quieter when you do and I can continue composing this post in peace!  Geez.

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I spent last evening with a few coworkers for a tiny holiday gathering.  It wasn't a party, just several of us dining at a restaurant together.  It was the perfect table for us - big and round.  It was a Chinese restuarant that offered dim sum.  We all opted for full dinner orders then we all plopped our plates on the turntable and shared those in dim sum style.  It was great fun.  I ordered an eggplant dish that was wonderful.  Our vegetarian greatly appreciated having a second dish without meat.  Everyone else enjoyed it too.  They agreed it wasn't something they would have thought to order.  My other order, an amaretto sour, baffled our poor waiter and he had to fetch the bartender to make heads or tails out of my request.

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Yesterday I completed a project that was supposed to be done some time ago... like in April.  I'm happy it's finally off my plate!

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Nugget just turned four months old.  Guess who managed this week to get up on all fours and crawl a step?  At the moment he's more amused by rolling over and giggling, but as soon as he discovers that rolling and crawling will transport him across the room?  We're all doomed.

Saturday Cuteness

Don't they look all wintery and Christmassy and cute?

Friday Fragments - December 2, 2011

Okay, Thanksgiving is down and it's time to start working on Christmas.  Guess WHO is not anywhere near ready?  Guess whose tree is not up and has no idea when that's going to happen?  Guess who hasn't put together her Christmas Card list or even started working on it?  Guess who hasn't started real Christmas shopping?  Well, okay, there are a few things stashed in a back closet that I picked up ages ago that I've totally forgotten what's been acquired so far... guess who hasn't even peeked in that closet?

The only bright spot in my lagging Christmas Spirit is that I have an extra week to work with.  We are celebrating Christmas a week later because me and my beloved are leaving town for a few days to visit with his side of the family.  The giddy feeling of "OMG I'M TAKING A VACATION" hasn't quite hit, but that's because I won't let myself get excited, at least not until I'm filling my suitcase the night before in true procrastinator fashion.

What's crazy is the excitement starting to brew in my head is that I get not one, but TWO, roadtrips before the end of the year.  One is the Christmas trip to North Carolina, but two weeks before that I have an overnight trip to Nashville.  And yes, I love the thought of sitting in a car driving for hours.  The only thing that would make it better is if I was driving by myself so I could crank the radio and bellow along at the top of my lungs.

 On the downside, I won't get to spend Christmas Day with this little love muffin  :(  Although, postponing our celebration means I get to spend even more time with him because he doesn't have to be whisked away to share with the rest of the family.... yay me!

Friday Fragments - 11/11/11

Everybody is having fun with it being the eleventh of November, 2011.  I suspect there are a lot of weddings scheduled for tonight and plenty of ladies are pushing in labor and delivery to have their babies born today.  I happen to know one such lady who started labor last night.  And she isn't just any lady, she's my best friend's daughter.  So by proxy, my daughter.  That means another grandchild.  A boy is expected.  Stay tuned, as of this morning she's dialated to 4 so she has a bit to go.  Hopefully in a few hours I can post an update.

PS - labor was bad enough, NOT being in labor and forced to sit around and wait?  Oddly enough, worse.

On with my fragments....

On Monday my cell phone was stolen.  You can scroll back to Tuesday's post to read the details.  Police report is filed, but it's doubtful I'll get it back.  grrrrrr

I've been feeling gross the past couple of days and even took yesterday off work.  The Husband has it worse, he's loaded with snot, I've just had aches and fevers.  Hoping we both clear up today because we have big plans for tomorrow.

Thanksgiving plans are starting to pull together.  We've just confirmed times and locations.  Now we need to iron out who brings what.  I'm always interested in other people's plans and menus.  One group of friends host an Orphan's Gathering for people who don't have family nearby.  In Tacoma Washington there is a fundraiser called Skanksgiving.  I'm not exactly sure of what festivities are planned, it's a party that much I know, but the proceeds go to a local food pantry.  I just love the name.

And menus.  I love hearing about different menus.  Not everyone does turkey, stuffing, and pie.  What sort of dishes take center stage on your table?  Where everyone gets really creative are the side dishes.  What sides HAVE to be at your gathering?  And for non-American readers, what would I find at your table for a different celebration gathering?

We will have mashed potatoes, gravy, baked beans, pie, and Grandma's Dessert (a whipped geletain concoction that I've found online as "Woolworth's Cheesecake"  but there's not cheesecake to it).

Baby Nolan arrived tonight around 6:30 pm at 7 lbs and 7 oz by C-section.  SO incredibly excited for new grandma, Booty, and her lovely daughter!

Pumpkin Carving

 More pictures of the kids industriously carving their pumpkins

And the awesome amount of seeds they produced.  I sent home a large bag for the kids and kept one for myself.  AND I didn't burn my batch this time!

This is probably my favorite picture even though the quality is poor.  I'm holding the baby while everyone gathered around to snap pictures.  No, he's not loved at all - completely the center of the universe!

Halloween 2011

Sunday the kids gathered to carve pumpkins and eat chili.

The gnarled pumpkin is the one squirrels decided to sample while sitting on my front porch.  And then mold started to set in.

Grandma QQ with Nugget

Riding the Great Pumpkin

Intensely concentrating

 

Completed (mostly) jack-o-lanterns

Keith finished his zombie pumpkin (far left) after he got home