7:31 am phone call

In what world is it okay to call someone at 7:31 am???? Let's see the reasons it's okay...
1. Dire Emergency. A "dire" emergency is something that involves blood, a trip to the ER, or death. As opposed to a regular or personal emergency which would involve laundry, lost tennis shoes or running out of Lucky Charms. Do not ever call me, wake me or in any other way disturb my life concerning the second set of emergency examples. Ever. You will have new orifices in strange and inconvenient places upon your body when I am done responding to your emergency. My children learned the hard way and live in mortal fear of waking me up.

2. A predesignated agreement to call at such time. As in, "give me a call tomorrow morning when you get up"

3. Meeting up with someone at 8:30am and calling to verify the other party is up and moving around, getting directions or to call that something else has come up sorry mate.

But no, the sow that called this morning was the all perky Suzy who has spoken a couple of times to my spouse (oh my God I can use words like "husband" and "spouse"! This whole marriage thing hasn't sunk in yet!) But anyways, she has spoken to my hubby a couple of times in the past about a washer and dryer we're trying to sell on Craigslist. So I've already heard about Suzy and have great disdain for her. She is one of those women who make holding a garage sale an unfortunate and miserable event by trying to chisel down each and every price you have tagged. Woman I put two dollars on that pair of jeans even though I wore them exactly ONCE and paid fortyfive dollars for them brand new and they are in fabulous shape and clearly will not fit your wide ass so NO I WILL NOT TAKE A FREAKING QUARTER FOR THEM THANKYOUVERYMUCH AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

7:31 am
her - Hi this is Suzy
me - mhmmm
her - Your husband left me the measurements of the washer and dryer
me - mhmmm (in my head it was a very throaty and sultry "mhmmm")
her - Did I wake you up?
me - mhmmm (Bitch you are so lucky that I cannot formulate conversation upon immediately waking up because you would have gotten an earful. I have all sorts of pithy comments to regale you with NOW a half hour and morning walk later)
her - Well, have him call me back
me - okay.
Click

REALLY????? No, really? WHO makes that call at 7:31 in the freaking morning? I don't even care if she was ready to come over and haul the damn things off. No. It is NEVER okay to call at 7:31 in the morning. All professional phone calls must take place between 9am and 9pm, unless it meets one of the three criteria listed above.

All I can say is that she better hurry up and buy that stupid washer and dryer because I plan on using the money in Vegas in exactly THREE days. And really we should jack up the price for this morning's inconvenience.

BLAH

As I read through past postings I'm a little bored. This reads like a freaking diary. "Dear diary I took a walk" BLAH!!!

I cry laughing every time I read The Bloggess. SHE is funny. She obviously has ADD. I totally follow her line of thinking or lack thereof.

So I will try to kick it up, make it more interesting, more fun, more... me.

........................

Yes today was another walk. In the parking lot was something akin to a traveling Curves shop. Seriously. There was a SUV with a bunch of exercise equipment strewn out behind it. Three women were working out with the equipment, a fourth jogging in circles. It's one thing to go to a gym and work out, it's another to get up before dawn, meet up with other exercise freaks, drive to a park, get out the equipment and start working it.

I don't know, that's too much effort. I mean I just jump out of bed, change clothes, put on shoes and grunt at my son before waltzing out the door. Bam I'm out and back in fifteen minutes. It's practically no effort at all.

Meeting up with people? In the morning? That really violates my morning prerogatives. It would involve being pleasant and engaging in mindless, friendly chatter. Holy crap I am soooo not up to that. I prefer not to talk in the morning. If I have to I'm usually annoying. It sounds happy and chipper but it's an act. It's how I am able to belt out bad opera to wake my kids.

Seeing those women in their cute workout clothes, bouncing up and down - ugh. It pissed me off. Go hide in a gym like a decent person. But I know they won't. They want the world to see their efforts, they flaunt it. I bet they also spend their lunch hours reciting the total caloric count of breakfast and lunch to their less diet-inclined coworkers. Poor saps. If their coworkers were in better shape maybe they could muster the strength and imagination to strangle the bitches. Kinda ironic, huh?

5:38 AM

I have frequently said if I wanted to see the sunrise that I would stay up rather than get up to see it. And yet, here I am, voluntarily crawling out of bed at dawn to hike around the local park. Besides the obvious health benefit, I am getting to see some really great sunrises.

This morning's walk started out in the dark. It was almost eerie especially as I came to the section of the path completely canopied by trees. Again the soccer fields were covered in a light fog but it was also up on the pathway. Instantly it reminded me of the sunken garden in college. It was in the foundation of a long-ago burned building, quietly nestled behind the Joseph Baldwin memorial. After a long night of "studying" I would walk across campus, diverting to the sunken garden to hang out for a few minutes. The fog was thick, muffling the regular sounds of night. It was too awesome, too comforting for it to be spooky. I kept out of my mind the reports of old Joseph Baldwin roaming the gardens in specter form. Maybe he knew I was there in peace and appreciation to try to haunt me.

As I neared the softball diamonds the sky was lightening. It's impossible to not be poetic when nature paints such gentle strokes of pastel above you. Then my mind wandered to that crazy roadtrip with my brother. We had driven through the night to cross Kansas. Around 4 AM we pulled over in a gas station parking lot to catch a few zzz's. After 2 hours of napping we woke up to the most glorious sunrise.
Maybe the photograph doesn't quite capture the essence - flat fields as far as you can see with the gentle strokes of pink and lavender overhead. It was the same no matter what direction you looked. Being from the land of trees it was stunning to see that sunrise can envelope the entire sky.

This morning was almost chilly. I'm hoping that the walks continue to inspire curiosity as well as great memories. I hope I don't bore of any of it, but cold temps could easily keep me inside.