My attitude going in was that I was going to be holding her hand and wiping her forehead. I have NEVER had any interest seeing a baby emerge into the world. Sure as hell didn't want to see my own hoohoo in the mirror, but also not interested in seeing anyone else's even my own daughter.
Through the whole night when the nurse came in to check her we would give her privacy or turn away. That all changed when it came time to push. Aunt and I were to help pull her knees up to her chin. At that point all of her glory was out there for all to see. And as anyone who has given birth, we all remember by that point you don't really care who is there and what is on display. That's probably why she didn't care that the other grandma and my mom were also in the room getting a front row seat.
As the baby's head became visible I stayed in my position still not interested. Aunt did finally leave her post to check out what everyone was oohing and ahhing about. Nope, not me. Then the head got past the pubic bone and wasn't slipping back into the canal. The top of his conehead was actually hanging out! And yes, even from my position I could see it. OH MY GOD it was so cool! Her last two pushes were the hardest thing she ever did and we were holding her through the whole process then zip zap zam her little boy slipped right into the doctor's hands. Totally amazing.
Yes, it would have been amazing to see my daughter-in-law give birth, but it was truly magical to be so active in my own daughter doing it. I wasn't just holding her hand giving her words of encouragement but actually holding her, giving her feet the resistance needed to push, cradling her shoulders when she pulled up. I felt each and every surge.
They slid the slimy, screaming conehead baby with the purple body onto her chest. She burst into tears getting to see him for the first time. I kept wiping her tears away so she could focus. When they took him to get cleaned up I continued to hold her hand through the painful stitches. The doctor asked if I wanted to see where she ripped - NOPE, hell no.
It wasn't until the exhaustion swept over her that I finally left her side to check out my newest grandchild. His conehead hiding under a beanie, his skin clean and finally pink, and one eye darting around this bright new world.
