REPOST: Snowmaggedon Survival Guide - Or How Not To Slaughter Your Children And Use Their Bones To Heat Your Home

I haven't forgotten about y'all, but my brain is empty.  When I was poking around for something else I found this post and thought I would re-share it.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Snowmaggedon Survival Guide - Or How Not To Slaughter Your Children And Use Their Bones To Heat Your Home

I'm an unofficial parenting advice source for my friends and co-workers.  Last week I got a frantic email asking how to get a few precious minutes ALONE from her 3 year old.  Then yesterday the same person posted on facebook wanting to know how to keep her daughter amused during a snow day.  I'm even reading how stay-at-home moms are at their wits end with their cabin fever infected spawn.

First, understand that cabin fever doesn't truly set in until after several weeks.  So what we're really dealing with is boredom doubled up with a break in routine and insecurity.  And folks, insecurity about the weather comes from YOU.  Think about what you're saying, the words you're using, not just with the kids but with your spouse and to the people on the phone.  "Hi mom, just checking in to make sure you're doing okay with this dreadful weather.  mmmhmmm... yeah, the roads look dangerous and I heard that Mary fractured her hip when she walked outside.... OH I KNOW!  ...well you take care and stay warm.   Call us if you need anything."  Innocent enough conversation, but to little ears?  SCARY!

So here you go, a list of activities to keep your kids (and you) from clawing down the walls:

1.  Make cookies (I hate making a special day defined by food, but these are desperate times and food soothes.  Suck it up).  I suggest chocolate chip, but go ahead and make whatever flavor makes your crew happy.

2.  Make homemade hot cocoa - I went out and searched for a recipe for you, one that happens to be on the box of baking cocoa in my cabinet
    http://www.hersheys.com/recipes/5265/Hot%20Cocoa.aspx
         1/2 cup sugar
         1/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
         dash of salt
         1/3 cup hot water
         4 cups (1 qt) milk
         3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Stir together sugar, cocoa and salt in medium saucepan; stir in water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Boil and stir 2 minutes. Add milk; stirring constantly, heat to serving temperature. Do Not Boil.
   
2. Remove from heat; add vanilla. Beat with rotary beater or whisk until foamy. Serve topped with marshmallows or whipped cream, if desired. Five 8-oz. servings. 

Um, that bit about serving with marshmallows "if desired"???  Bullshit - they are absolutely necessary.

3.  Have a picnic in the middle of your living room (Your house is going to be a disaster zone if you follow my directions, but again desperate times call for desperate actions.  Suck it up.  Actually, for your own sanity and as an extra activity to keep the munchkins occupied, CLEAN UP after each thing you do).  Pull out a blanket and sit your butt on the ground just as if you were at a park in the middle of summer.

4.  Pull out the stuffed animals.  Oh, you thought they were decoration?  Ha!  Tell the kids to sit in the bathroom (without touching anything) as you quickly assemble the fake beasts around the house.  Then lead your children through the house on a guided safari.  Discuss their natural environments.  If you don't know where those beasts live or what they eat, have the kids offer suggestions.  Or make up facts.  Kids love far fetched and whimsical.  You might even score cool points.  Yes, your big kids should be expected to play along.  After much bitching and grumbling about how gay and retarded all of this is, point out no one is watching (Take this opportunity to review why "gay" and "retarded" are politically incorrect and that they are hurtful terms).  Their defenses will quickly melt and they'll be giggling along with the younger sibs

5.  Hold an Easter Egg hunt.  Dig out those plastic eggs and take turns hiding the eggs from the rest of the group.  If you by chance don't have plastic eggs (make sure to stop at Walgreens the day after Easter this year and load up on them for the next snowtrastrophy) gather up small trinkets, maybe toys and use them for your egg hunt.

6.  Build a tent city.  Use kitchen chairs for structure and drape blankets and sheets over them.  Bring in the stuffed animals for their mini families.  With a sheet draped over the kitchen table, eat lunch under the table.  Give each kid a flashlight, load them up with coloring books and crayons and then slip off to read your own book in peace.  Tell them they can take their afternoon naps in their tents.

7.  Write a letter to Grandma, complete with an envelope for each child and real stamp.  And mail them, even if grandma (or whoever) lives next door.

8.  Move your tent city into the living room, restructured into a drive in.  Pick an old movie from your selection (that would be the Power Rangers Movie at my house - I have that damn "oh oh, we're in trouble" song etched into my head for eternity.  I'm going to have alzheimers and hum that stupid tune it's so ingrained in my gray matter).  By the way, the movie selection is not decided by any democratic process, totally a surprise.  I hope you have real popcorn on hand, not the microwave stuff.  If not, make do, but really, next time you're at the store grab a bag of popcorn kernals.

Any of these activities provide HOURS of activity.  At some point the kids are going to be sick of the togetherness and will be glad to flee into their bedrooms for hibernation.  Let go of your routine and any sense of order.  That's a scary place for a lot of moms, but do it and watch those little smiles grow.  It's totally worth it.  And yes, give them plenty of unstructured time.

OH!  And pull out the camera.  Record this day, it will be precious.

Friday Fragments - March 15, 2013

Ah, the Ides of March.  What shall today bring?

Surprised to see me?  Yeah, I've been MIA for a couple of weeks, sorry.  It's crazy time at work - isn't every spring like this for me?

****

Last Sunday I took my lovely daughter to see The Great and Powerful Oz.  It was wonderful and we both enjoyed it.  The movie was the prequel to The Wizard of Oz.  It had some quirks to it, Chinatown threw me for a loop, but overall stayed true to the original including having the parts in Kansas in black and white and Oz in color.

What's funny is that my supervisor took her daughter to see it at the same place only a half hour later!  Of course we never passed since she was in a different room, but it definitely made for interesting lunch chatter the next day.  She felt the same way about the move and was happy to spend some time with her daughter as well.

****

... and that's as far as I got.   Today, Wednesday March 20th, is the first time I've managed to get back to this page!

I'm going to hit post and declare a blog hibernation for myself.  I should resurface in late April. 

See ya on the flip side

Friday Fragments - August 31, 2012

I'm baaaaaaack!!!!

I took a wee little Blogcation as I ironed out crap at home.  I think this happened last August too.  Not that anything has settled down, I just missed you so much and had to get back in the pool!

******

While we were apart you missed my grandbaby's first birthday.  Yes, he is one whole year old.  Not at all possible, is it?

Need a good laugh?  Here he is with his cake

******

My youngest finally got his driver's permit!!!!  He hasn't been behind the wheel yet, which I'm sure is simply killing him.  Getting that stupid permit has been sheer torture.  He has had the book to study for the test since his birthday in May.  Finally, two weeks ago, he announced he was ready for the test.  Hubby took him up for the test and he totally nailed it.  I think he missed two questions (see what studying can do??? - oh wait, he's not reading this, but yeah, that's the moral of the story - study).  So they go up to the desk with birth certificate in hand and nooooo it's not good enough to simply know ones social security number, this particular office insists upon seeing the card.  Guess who can't find the SS card?  Moi.  We turned the house inside out looking for it.  I know I had it, I remember taking it to the tax prep office last spring and I think I made a photo copy of it for his work permit.  WHERE IS IT????  

I never did find it.  So I finally look up the social security administration online to find out what I have to do to replace a lost card.  I gathered up the necessary paperwork, made sure I went overboard and got extra items on the list just in case, took an hour off work, grabbed the kid and headed to the local SS office.  We waltzed in, took a number and before I could sit down for what I was sure was going to be the most ridiculously long wait imaginable, I was called to the window.  Badda - bing- badda - boom, we were out of there WITH a temporary card.  A-MAZING! 

******

And in other kid news, we will be spending this weekend moving my daughter into her new apartment.  This will be the first time she won't have extra roommates other than her boyfriend so it's an exciting time for her.  I hope this means a little tranquility in their lives!  They certainly need it.

******

As I write this we're keeping an eye on the sky.  Big ugly clouds have already rolled into town, the remnants of Hurricane Isaac have reached St. Louis.  We're hoping for a good soaking rain after a summer of drought, but it's more likely there will be lots of flooding and probably a few rounds of tornados.  It's kind of weird to be in the middle of the country and have to deal with a hurricane.  Several others have made this route, including Katrina.

******

Work is absolutely crazy right now.  We are about to roll out a new database.  If you've never suffered that fate, let me tell you it is downright miserable.  Especially for your IT department.  Big boss took pity on me and my partner in crime and sent us out of the office last Thursay for a day at the ballpark.  We sat ten rows behind the dugout, in the sun.  Fabulous day!  St. Louis Cardinals beat the Houston Astros 11-5 (if I happened to remember the score incorrectly, sorry.  Bottom line - we won).

Friday August 10, 2012

I made a promise of sorts at the beginning of the summer to commit more time to blogging.  Well, life has definitely gotten in the way over the past few weeks.

There is a whole lot that I can't or shouldn't discuss publicly, and that just kills me.  I like this venue to chronicle my life and discuss what's going on.  It's a healthy means to work out details.  The key, however, is to know what to publish and what to keep quiet.  All of that said, I'm doing good, my family is happy and healthy, and the heat wave has broken (woohoo!)

I'm BAAAACCCKKKK

Blogcation is over.

Did you miss me?  I definitely missed you.  Something would happen and I would think "damn this would be a good blog topic"  and then forget it ten minutes later.  I don't regret taking the time off.  My poor little brain was so pooped from everything all going on at the same time.  I was still surfing the internet but I spent my time playing Words With Friends and posting on Pinterest.  That was about all I could muster.

So, like taking vacation from work it takes a bit to get back into the groove.  I'll try to keep posting, even little blips like this.

I'm here.

I'll start visiting again.

Spring Blogaction 2012

As you may have noticed, I've been quiet for over a week.  Nothing specific going on, just too busy to compile my thoughts.  So, why not declare this my Spring Break, a "Blogcation", if you will.

What happens at Blogcation, STAYS at Blogcation.... hahahahahhaaha.  The joke being it's so UNinteresting that no one would want to hear about it.

This is my busy season until the end of April.  I'll be below decks hashing out miracles left and right.  I'll try to post along the way and keep the whining to a minimum.  If you don't see anything, don't worry I haven't left.

Not Quite A Vacation

I've been thinking about you and certainly there has been enough to write about going on in my life, but there seems to be too much going on.  Instead of stressing myself out and adding to my to-do list with my blog, I'm taking a break.  My plan is to return in full force on October 1st.  I'm loading up on pictures and stories in the meantime.

Here is the sunshine of my heart

Catch ya in a couple of weeks

Early Declarations

Isn't it a tad early in the century to declare anything to be the *blank* of the century.  William and Kate's wedding was the "Wedding of the Century", a trial in Florida is being called the "Trial of the Century"

I don't know, it seems very premature to make those statements.  That is something that is decided AFTER the fact, done in retrospect, not early in the game. 

The 1904 World's Fair could be the World's Fair of the century, but to say so in 1905?  Too early.  That skirmish in Europe in 1917?  WWI?  Surely it felt like the war of the century, but then WWII came rolling along.

So the only thing this generation can proclaim to be the *blank* of the century had to have happened between the years 1900-1999.  Anything between 2000-2099 will be left to our great-grandchildren. 

Except this blog.  I proclaim it to be THE Blog Of The Century.  I'm sure my great-great-grandchildren will agree. 

NINETY-ONE

Last week sometime I reached 91 followers!  I know it's superfluous and that the 91 people listed don't necessarily read this blog regularly, but I look at that little box every single day.  It thrills me.  I remember back when I was excited about 15.  Oh hell, I get excited every time another face pops up.  I was just as excited about number 16 as I was about number 14 as I am about 91.

Thank you everyone.  You thrill me and I love your faces/icons.


please don't go away

I need your validation

New Header

I love snow!  We had a few flakes on Thanksgiving and a few more are predicted for tomorrow. 

I detest the bitter cold that accompanies it here.  In fact, St. Louis receives much more cold than snow and that just makes me grumpy.  The picture in the header is one I took a few years ago after an ice storm.  It was a rather icky storm, lots of people, including me, lost power.  Instead of shivering my butt off in my dark house I headed to a local park and snapped some amazing shots, including the above picture.

If I get my act together tomorrow, I'll post more pictures from that trip.

In the meantime, LET IT SNOW!

New Header

Sorry nothing spectacular to share on this Sunday.  I did manage to scrounge up an appropriate autumn picture for a new header as I'm not really in a beach mood these days. 

My lovely friends reminded me yesterday that a year ago we were in Vegas.  That seems like a lifetime ago.

Birthday Party Blog Hop

It's here!  BIRTHDAY PARTY BLOG HOP 2010!!!!

Happy Birthday (to everyone whenever your birthday is)

Happy Birthday Month!

Happy July!

So here's the deal, this is a PARTY!  Post party pictures of you, your spouse, your best friend, your kids, your parents or hell just some random party you happen to have in your stash.  WHATEVER!  Just as long as it's party themed (you can even sneak in a non-birthday event).

What you CANNOT do is post something that is NOT a party.  I retain the right to remove any non-partiers (if I can figure out how to do this since this is my first blog hop, but let's not push it.  It's my birthday dammit)

Oh and if you don't have any pictures, tell us about a significant birthday or share how birthdays are celebrated in your corner of the world.

Or you can answer the following questions (NOT NECESSARY TO PLAY ALONG)
1.  When is your birthday? (yes include the year)
2.  What is your favorite flavor/type of cake?
3.  What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
4.  What is your favorite party game?
5.  What ONE item is on your wish list? (new house, car, ipod... don't get weird and say world peace.  It has to be something we can put a bow on and give to you specifically.  We ALL want world peace.)

AND THEN you have to invite everyone you know to play along.  This is not about generating new followers.  It's about fun and sharing and PaRTYinG!  If anyone gets new followers, that's awesome, but that's not the goal.

Make sure you leave lots of comments, if even just a little "hi".

So here are my answers the questions...
1.  When is your birthday? TODAY July 28, 1966
2.  What is your favorite flavor/type of cake?  Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting
3.  What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? I love mint, but I usually go for vanilla with oodles of chocolate syrup
4.  What is your favorite party game? Mad Libs
5.  What ONE item is on your wish list? A new snazzy sewing machine

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Want a button to add to your site?  Here ya go

<br><a href="http://dementiawoman.blogspot.com/2010/07/birthday-party-blog-hop.html"><img src="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g295/qandlequeen/Backgrounds/BirthdayBlogHop.jpg" alt="A Walk Through My LIttle World" width="130" height="140" border="0" /></a><br>

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Birthday MONTH

July 1st means it's officially BIRTHDAY MONTH.  That's right, roll out the carpet, crank up the stereo (er... ipod docking station) and let's parrrrrr.... tayyyyyyy...

We have all month to eat cake and ice cream and chug our fermented juice of choice because it's BIRTHDAY MONTH.

Specifically it's MY Birthday Month.  Of course I know to share the glory with anyone else whose birthday happens to be in July, because July people are FABULOUS.  But let's make it EVERYONE'S Birthday Month!  Oh yeah and it's AMERICA'S birthday too.  So really it's the patriotic thing to do.  And if you're not American, who cares, celebrating knows no boundaries.  Right?

*cheesy smiles*

Come on, there's free cake.  I won't even make you wear a party hat, unless you really want to.

July 28th is just around the corner.  In fact, I dare everyone to think about doing a birthday themed post ON my birthday, no, not about me, but your kid or you or office mate and I'll do a full-on linky thing blog hop.  THAT sounds fun.  So start digging through your pictures, you have twenty-eight days to procrastinate and ponder and tell your friends.  Maybe someone will nudge and remind me that I promised to do a birthday party blog hop.

YAY!!!!  I'm kinda excited.

Friday Fragments - May 21, 2010

Friday Fragments is a great way to unload the bits and pieces of what's going on in your life AND a quick way to meet new friends!  Click the button and join the fun!

*Woot!  I reached 50 followers yesterday!  Thank you ALL!

*Does anyone like the recent trend of schools starting classes in early/mid August and closing up shop in MAY?  I don't, that's for sure.  School should start AFTER Labor Day and end after Memorial Day.  The end.

*I totally failed my partner in crime!  My coworker who always helps in my office pranks had a birthday on Wednesday.  Was her cubicle decorated in proper prankster decor???  FAIL!  Fortunately I redeemed myself.  While she was standing in my supervisor's office just shooting the shit, no official meeting, I gathered four other co-workers and put up a castle wall at the top of her cubicle walls using a couple hundred boxes of nasal spray.  Not only did it bring a huge smile to her face, I did it while she was just feet away.  That, folks, is TRUE skill.

*Speaking of work, my summer is gearing up to be a long string of meetings.  We received financing to update our client database which is really wonderful.  But it's going to be a lot of work.  A whole lot of work.  We will be converting it over to a new format so that makes it a prime opportunity to overhaul it.  Again, this is really fabulous, but damn, it's going to be a ton of effort.  There are a lot of opinions floating around and any change one person needs could have a whole line of unforeseen  repercussions.  And then we have to test it.... I have to test it.  Actually I have to try to break it.  Not only do I have to test if it works as intended, but try to use it in a manner that other users might attempt.  And the techno-geek in me thinks this could be FUN.  Truly sick, huh?

*On the new business front, it's been three months.  We are finally at the point we had hoped to be SEVERAL weeks ago.  Frustrating, but good.  At the moment it looks like opening day will be June 1st.  There are a lot of things that need to happen between now and then, so keep your fingers crossed that next week's Friday Fragments is announcing that we're ready to open!

Thirty One Days Hath January...

If you participate in the NaNoBlogMo you know you're challenged to post a blog every single day of the month.  I signed up in November and failed miserably.  I really wanted to accomplish this so on January 1st I made a little pack with myself to post every day in January.  I didn't sign up on NaNoBlogMo, nor did I make any public proclamation.  It seems when I put anything out there publicly it's jinxed, so I kept quiet this time.

TA DA!  I did it 31 days of posting something everyday!

I make no promises that I will accomplish the same over the next few months.  I see a buffet of activity coming toward my proverbial plate.  AUUUGGGHHH!!!! (Ha!  I love being busy, don't let the whining lead you to believe otherwise).

TWENTY Followers

I know twenty doesn't mean squat to people with 3,000 followers, but this is rather momentous to little ol me.  Maybe you'll remember when you hit the 20 mark and understand my excitement.  I guess the next landmarks are 50 and 100?

One day I'll look back at this post and think, "how cute".  So just pat me on the head and smile sweetly.

Thank you so much for sticking with my ramblings, it's fun to have an audience! Y'all're awesome!



(like how I broke all the rules with the double contraction?  That's how we roll in the citay.)