Reader Questions - Feb 7, 2011

Do you enjoy reading these?  If so, keep the questions rolling in!

From frequent commenter, Skippy, "Where does you sense of humor come from and why do you like to torture your readers [with pictures of spiders]"

Clearly Skippy is skeeved by spiders.  I do sympathize as there are a fair number of creepy crawlies that I do not like, but for the most part pictures of them don't throw me into hysterics.  Now butchered eyeballs?  Or any pictures of instruments coming close to eyeballs?  Just typing about it gives me the shivers.  But I wasn't INTENTIONALLY trying to torture any spider-phobic readers, they just pose well for pictures.  And the post in question was about a cave cricket - a grody mutant spider thing with long spindly grass hopper legs (THOSE SKEEVE ME OUT) and I needed to share this information.  It's important to know these things exist.  A service to my readers (you're welcome).  I will try VERY hard in the future to warn you of any impending spider picture.

As for my sense of humor, that is totally to be blamed on this guy

My dad was nothing but a giant kid.  Now when my mom says that she means it in a negative way and it was the basis of their divorce.  For me and my brothers, however, it meant nothing but smiles and jokes.  He made us blue mashed potatoes, encouraged tickle fights and frequently sat down on the floor with us as we played.  All three of us have a warped sense of humor and easily slip into giant kid mode.

He would have been proud of my penchant for practical jokes and he would have roared with laughter over the retribution I have received for doling them out.

Life can be shit and he waded through plenty of it.  If we wait for everything to be sunshine and flowers we will be very disappointed people.  Make the most of what you've got where you're at and find the humor in it.  If there is no humor to be found, make it.

One Time At Girl Scout Camp

Mental Mysteria and I were co-leaders. Her daughter was bitching and moaning about bugs, spiders in particular. I proudly boast that for as much as I don't like bugs, spiders don't really bother me. When I see a spider I don't scream like a little girl (roaches are a whole other story).

Clearly I was setting myself up. Murphy's Law and Karma have wicked senses of humor.

We get settled into our respective tents when all of the sudden the girls in MM's daughter's tent come out screaming. THERE'S A SPIDER!!!!

*sigh* So MM and I grab a broom to escort the spider outside (we're in the woods, we're not going to kill any of the residents).

HOLY CHIT! This thing was gargantuan. It wasn't quite a tarantula, but close... probably a wolf spier. And not something you squish. Saddle and tame, maybe, but definitely not squish. Did anybody watch Arachnaphobia? The movie where the momma spider actually plots against the exterminator dude and is really adept in the duck-n-hide maneuver? Yeah, we had its sibling.

We removed all of the girls' stuff out of the tent, leaving the cots, always keeping a watchful eye on the latest location of the spider. We chased it to the middle of one of the cots and then it scampered to the edge on the side by the wall. So MM and I agreed the best method would be to just shoot the mattress out of the tent. So MM grabbed the mattress and I was positioned to catch the end and toss. She screamed bloody murder, flung her arm, the spider hit me in the chest, I screamed and the spider hit the floor and ran to the corner.

I nearly peed I was laughing so hard. Damn spider. Of course the girls are heckling me because "I don't scream about spiders"

War ensued after we got the giggles under control. MM chased it out of the corner and in a move worthy of any NHL player, I used the broom to shoot the spider out of the tent.

TA DA!!!!

I don't scream about spiders unless there is one in actual contact with my physical body.