The Art of Being Patient

Patience is a virtue, right?  RIGHT????

ANSWER ME DAMMIT, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!

Uh, yeah, so I'm not the most patient person around.  I've been working on it for a mighty long time and have made some headway in that direction, but I have a long way to go.   Hmmm... it just struck me as I typed that how learning patience is a slow process requiring patience.  Irony, table of one?

But it is something I've been working on.  I've prayed for guidance and have seen improvement.  My older kids can tell you that I'm not nearly as yelly and screamy these days as I was a decade ago.  Their little brother doesn't get an ass chewing near as often as they did.  Of course, my nerves aren't whittled down by incessant bickering and tattling with just one child at home (say it with me, "he's so spoiled").

So a certain project has landed in my world.  One that is trying my patience in unimaginable ways.  One that it would be better if I would just shut my mouth, keep my opinions to myself, butt out, let the person do it his way and merely accept or turn down the variety of requests coming my way.  This isn't my project.  I have no ownership of it.

Hmmm... again, what is that theory I'm famous for quoting?  Something about problem ownership?  Yeah, dummy, this is not my problem so I need to butt out.  The problem owner is not asking my opinion, just asking for my skills and resources.  Offer the help as it is requested or don't - that is my "problem."

And this is trying the fuck out of me.  I have opinions.  GOOD opinions.  But that doesn't matter.  Suck up that ego and shove it in your back pocket, my opinion doesn't matter.  AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!  It is truly trying my patience.  I want nothing more than to stab somebody in the neck and make him do things my way.  And then stab him once more just for good measure.

These are not the behaviors of a patient person.  In fact, prison is filled with all sorts of people who failed in the patience department and I do not look good in prison orange, maybe blue, but not orange.  So I'm forcing myself to sit down and shut up.  It's going to require sitting on my hands too.  And since I'm not really known for sitting still there's going to be a lot of fidgeting and rocking and swinging my legs and staring at the indiscernible spots on the ceiling while keeping my burgeoning turrets at bay.

AAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


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