Reader Questions - Feb 3, 2011

Only two people responded to last week's quest for blog topics.  You're more than welcome to submit more questions.

These are from Clearness:

Did you ever have a bully? What did you do when you were bullied?
No, I've never had a specific bully.  I have, however, been the source of ridicule.  For the most part my mom was unaware it was happening and I retracted.  I didn't know how to overcome it or ignore it and just added fuel to the fire.  In high school I somehow missed being a social outcast, but I was invisible.

If there was a silver lining, the invisibility gave me a unique view of the world.  I had the luxury of not catering to anyone else's standards and was able to define myself rather early, instead of having my classmates define me.  I'm also able to stand in a crowd, reduce back to my invisible self, and take stock of the dynamics around me.

**EDIT**
Let me explain my "invisibility".  I wasn't the kid that was picked on.  No one made up vicious rhymes with my name.  But they also didn't see me.  Everyone walked past me.  What verified that point for me was at our high school reunion.  As us three amigos would approach someone the person would squeal in delight at seeing Piranha and then they would squeal about seeing Booty and then they would look at me.  They knew there was a third person in this trio and clearly I was it but damn if they could remember my name.  My husband at the time had attended Jr High with most of my classmates but attended and graduated from a rival high school.  At that same reunion everyone greeted him heartily and then looked at me waiting for him to introduce me.  To my classmates.  The people I had sat in class with for four years.  Invisible.



When did you start talking to your kids about s, e, x? and bad touches? How did you begin the subject?
There was never a specific sit-down conversation.  I always think of those being awkward like the Massingil commercials where mother and daughter discuss feminine odor.

I never had anyone sit me down so I had no frame of reference.  The way my mom approached all important topics was as a part of other conversations, frequently in the car.  It's amazing the type of conversations that can take place in the car.  So I did the same.  I know it started early, around the time they were going to be in groups without me or their father - daycare, kindergarten.  I would also take the opportunity during shopping trips to point out who they should seek if we got separated.  I tried really hard to not make them terrified of all strangers, that most people want to help.

There has never been a conversation that covered the logistics of sex as to what parts needed to go where.  I did talk about respecting their partners and themselves.  We frequently talked about their friends activities and I would use those as teaching moments.


....okay, so any more questions?

Reader Questions - Feb 1, 2011

So last week I had a brain fart and asked for blog topics.  Please feel free to submit more questions!

From The Guy Who Writes This, "Careful, when I had people tell me what topics they wanted one asked for my coming of age story."

Is that a dare?  I think so.

If you are one of my kids, do yourself a favor and return to Facebook because I'm going to talk about me and sex. 

Okay, disclaimer posted.

I was 18, definitely a late bloomer by my friends' standards.  I was home for my first weekend from college.  As was the usual, we gathered at Piranha's house.  That was our favorite place to spend a Saturday night because her parents would spend the evening out for date night and not return until the wee hours.  We were unsupervised.

We slipped off to a private room and closed the door.  Unfortunately the room we chose belonged Piranha's youngest sister.  The room was a tribute to Strawberry Shortcake.  Strawberry and her friends were displayed in miniature on the wall, in toys on the shelves and all over the bedspread.  Sadly Strawberry Shortcake was defiled that night with a plastic tinted scent of blueberry and strawberry fragrance wafting through the air.

It was an uneventful and clumsy night, but not so bad that we parted ways.  I ended up marrying the guy and having three children with him.  I cannot look at Strawberry Shortcake without thinking of that night, the night she lost her innocence.