It IS different when it's your daughter

I had already been on baby watch twice with my son, but with my daughter I was going to be in the room. So I knew I was going to be more involved with the birth than just pacing the waiting room. Then we had the whole debacle that baby-daddy couldn't be present so her aunt (my ex's sister) stepped in to be the other person.

My attitude going in was that I was going to be holding her hand and wiping her forehead. I have NEVER had any interest seeing a baby emerge into the world. Sure as hell didn't want to see my own hoohoo in the mirror, but also not interested in seeing anyone else's even my own daughter.

Through the whole night when the nurse came in to check her we would give her privacy or turn away. That all changed when it came time to push. Aunt and I were to help pull her knees up to her chin. At that point all of her glory was out there for all to see. And as anyone who has given birth, we all remember by that point you don't really care who is there and what is on display. That's probably why she didn't care that the other grandma and my mom were also in the room getting a front row seat.

As the baby's head became visible I stayed in my position still not interested. Aunt did finally leave her post to check out what everyone was oohing and ahhing about. Nope, not me. Then the head got past the pubic bone and wasn't slipping back into the canal. The top of his conehead was actually hanging out! And yes, even from my position I could see it. OH MY GOD it was so cool! Her last two pushes were the hardest thing she ever did and we were holding her through the whole process then zip zap zam her little boy slipped right into the doctor's hands. Totally amazing.

Yes, it would have been amazing to see my daughter-in-law give birth, but it was truly magical to be so active in my own daughter doing it. I wasn't just holding her hand giving her words of encouragement but actually holding her, giving her feet the resistance needed to push, cradling her shoulders when she pulled up. I felt each and every surge.

They slid the slimy, screaming conehead baby with the purple body onto her chest. She burst into tears getting to see him for the first time. I kept wiping her tears away so she could focus. When they took him to get cleaned up I continued to hold her hand through the painful stitches. The doctor asked if I wanted to see where she ripped - NOPE, hell no.

It wasn't until the exhaustion swept over her that I finally left her side to check out my newest grandchild. His conehead hiding under a beanie, his skin clean and finally pink, and one eye darting around this bright new world.

Friday Fragments - March 2, 2012

Today my baby girl turns 24!  Everyone help me wish her a very happy birthday!

It just doesn't seem possible than *I* could have 24 years of anything under my belt, definitely not motherhood.  And yet, here it is, my oldest child has gained another year of adulthood.  How can she already be twentyfour years old????

You'll have to excuse me as I devote an entire post to her, but she IS the single biggest life altering event that has ever happened to me.  Graduations, jobs, finances have all impacted my life, but my daughter is the one whose arrival completely turned my world upside-down and inside-out.  The sacrifices were huge, but oh so very worth it.  Like any parent can tell you, the arrival of your first child shatters any and all illusions you may ever have had about your future.

24 years ago I was in labor and would be for nearly the entire day.  She was due 9 days prior... mmmhmmmm think back about how long ago February 22 was, and yes it was leap year too.  We joke that her late arrival was because she needed to sleep in, a condition that plagues her to this day.  And oh no, she couldn't be born in the morning.  This child was born at 10:22pm. 

March 2, 1988 was the day that the women's final for figure skating was on TV.  I had already visited the hospital the night before, walking the halls to progress the labor and sent home.  By morning when labor was even and regular I was hellbent on watching the skating through to the end.  I sat in my rocking chair, rocking violently through the contractions.  An impatient husband paced back and forth, certain he and my mother would be delivering a baby right there in our apartment.  Ha!  This little girl had no intention of making an appearance any time soon.

But we didn't know that.

Sitting in labor and delivery, slowly progressing through a textbook labor, hitting every stage, other mothers came and went.  A faint cry could be heard down the hall as babies made their way into the world.  But not mine.  Nope.  She was still waiting to make a grand entrance.

By late evening I was the only one left on the floor.  The staff out of boredom began placing penny bets - boy or girl, over/under 9 pounds, before or after midnight.  My modesty gave way to exhaustion and I would whip the covers off my sweaty body.  Finally delivery was full on ready to go.  My mom got to see Amanda crown, commenting on the mass of hair on her tiny head.  I'm still not so sure I wanted my mother staring at my nether regions, but she was delighted to be the first person other than the doctor to see her first grandchild and at that point I didn't give a damn.  I am not nearly as curious and will wait until a swaddled baby is placed in my arms to meet my grandchildren. 

I still remember her distinct cry, one I could pick out from the rest of the squawking babies with my eyes closed.

Everything after that blurs.  The trip back to the apartment, the flurry of visitors including the UPS man, a first smile, moving back to Missouri, crawling, walking, talking, and before you know it a first birthday. 

Time flies so fast.  I don't remember each of her birthdays exactly, but several stand out in my memory.  Her second birthday was the day her terrible two's started.  I swear she woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day and it lasted two years straight.  Pictures capture the various parties through the years.  There were big celebrations and little ones.  Sleepovers were common and seemed to keep the masses happy. 

I'm not really sure what the celebration will be this year, but it will happen.  It always does, because, dammit, birthdays are important.

Happy Birthday Amanda!

Friday Fragments - August 12, 2011

I AM A GRANDMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of the other bits and particulars of my week totally do not matter.  I spent Monday night through all day Tuesday sitting at the hospital with my mom as we waited for baby to arrive.  We didn't know whether it was a boy or girl and were nearly panting with anticipation.  We watched other families get their happy announcements and they would drift out of the waiting room to be replaced by another hopeful family.  In and out they went and there we sat. 

WAITING SUCKS!

Finally at 4:21 in the afternoon my grandson arrived!

7 lbs and 9 oz, 20 3/4 inches long

AND HEALTHY

WHEW!

The poor child is surely blind after the flurry camera flashes.  I'm pretty sure my blog posts from here on out are going to be loaded with grandma bragging and snuggly baby pictures. 

 

Both "ends" of the cirlce of life

Sitting at work I get the message that my daughter's friend had her baby!  YAY!  Please keep them in your prayers, momma has low blood pressure so they're keeping an eye on her.

And then, the other end of the spectrum, sad news came across Facebook - a schoolmate died over the weekend.  My graduating class has already suffered a couple of deaths.  The first one was Eileen who died in college after dental work.  I'm not sure of the details around Brian's death, but it's rattling all of us pretty bad.  He was one of the popular NICE guys.  Everyone loved him.  Even his ex-wife had nice things to say.

So while you have the prayer box open, please put Brian's family in the mix.