So a few weeks ago I was at my son's practice and spied this flashback.
Showing posts with label Fights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fights. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Hands Off
So a few weeks ago I was at my son's practice and spied this flashback.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Reader Questions - Feb 9, 2011
From NoExcuses, "When your kids argue with each other, do you step in? Or let them work it out?"
I have a giant cage in the backyard where I let them fight to the death.
Ha! Not quite. For the most part I do let kids work out difficulties for themselves, but not with carte blanche. There are rules.
1. If someone is having a shitty day, don't make it worse. I'll nip that right in the bud. Learn a little empathy dammit.
2. If you're in a bad mood, leave the room (that includes me). Don't go tormenting someone in a bad mood or try to put them into a good mood. Respect it and when they're ready to be happy they can join the group.
3. No running in the house - take it outside
4. No wrestling matches in the livingroom - take it outside
5. No foreign objects - they become weapons too soon
6. Absolutely never say "I hate you". You don't have to like anyone, but "hate" is too heavy of a word for such little people to fully understand.
Most bickering in my house started off as a joke then went too far. This is how the kids learn boundaries, setting them and respecting them so I usually let it run its course.
If I ever stopped a fight for a reason other than listed above it was because they were getting too loud.
I would also step in if they could not resolve a problem. I tried very hard not to take sides. Frequently the object in question (isn't it always about a stupid toy?) was put on time out (yes I put toys on time out). Many times if they didn't break it up I threatened them with hugging each other... EW!
I have a giant cage in the backyard where I let them fight to the death.
Ha! Not quite. For the most part I do let kids work out difficulties for themselves, but not with carte blanche. There are rules.
1. If someone is having a shitty day, don't make it worse. I'll nip that right in the bud. Learn a little empathy dammit.
2. If you're in a bad mood, leave the room (that includes me). Don't go tormenting someone in a bad mood or try to put them into a good mood. Respect it and when they're ready to be happy they can join the group.
3. No running in the house - take it outside
4. No wrestling matches in the livingroom - take it outside
5. No foreign objects - they become weapons too soon
6. Absolutely never say "I hate you". You don't have to like anyone, but "hate" is too heavy of a word for such little people to fully understand.
Most bickering in my house started off as a joke then went too far. This is how the kids learn boundaries, setting them and respecting them so I usually let it run its course.
If I ever stopped a fight for a reason other than listed above it was because they were getting too loud.
I would also step in if they could not resolve a problem. I tried very hard not to take sides. Frequently the object in question (isn't it always about a stupid toy?) was put on time out (yes I put toys on time out). Many times if they didn't break it up I threatened them with hugging each other... EW!
If you notice in all my pictures, the little snots are SMILING. They're having fun! It may sound vicious, but do look at their faces. Not all fights are hateful.
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