It might be PMS

Not sure but I just made a bowl of chopped bananas, caramel, and chocolate chips with a 2nd glass of wine (there isn't any ice cream in the house). This follows a day of being in a pissy mood and nearly breaking out in tears at work.

Or I just had a royally crappy day.  

I'm not really a stress eater.  On a truly bad day I would rather climb in the car and drive on the open highway with the radio blasting.  Or take a long nap.  Yet there is something about chocolate that soothes the inner monster.  Of the "necessities" I always have on hand besides flour, sugar, butter, and peanut butter, I will ALWAYS have chocolate chips.  Even my kids knew about mom's chocolate chips and they slyly snagged a few here and there but never fully depleting my stash.  It would have to be really bad for me to break down and buy a real candy bar.

Whatever it was, I hope it goes away tonight.

A Letter To Hugh Grant

Dear Mr. Grant,

I believe the time has come that you branch out.  I'm bored of seeing you in romantic comedies.  The Hugh-Grant-Romantic-Comedy wore out it's niche back when Bridgette Jones was writing her diary.  Please expand your acting repertoire to characters that wear something besides a suit coat and tie.  Put on something that wasn't pre-approved by your mum and grandfather.  And, by the way, tennis shorts do not count in this plea for variety. 

Grow out your hair, be a rogue bad-guy.  Be a sage old guy.  Hell, be a woman!  But, PLEASE, no more bumbling British snob from a big city who doesn't know how to be a good boyfriend/lover/husband.  Play Baryshnikov.  That would be awesome.  If by chance you've already played these characters I clearly missed those movies and I'm sorry.   I'm sure I saw your name and thought it was another droll romantic comedy.

Thank You,
The Viewing Public

List O' Grievances

Things only I seem to notice/care about in this house

-Toilet Paper.  Why load it  so that the loose end is against the wall, not over the top?  It's easier to grab my way.  Yes, thank you for replacing the empty roll, but could you take an extra second and think about proper placement?  By the way, I am amazed how you manage to time it so that I'm the one who usually gets this job - thanks.

-Paper towels.  Same theory as the toilet paper.  It's almost worst in the kitchen because my hands are preoccupied with other jobs and I have a really difficult time trying to grab that elusive flap against the wall with my pinky.

-Closing cabinets.  WHAT THE HELL?  It's a door.  SHUT IT.  Open when you need something, close it when you're done.  Basic concept. 

-Spoons.  We happen to have TWO sizes of spoons.  They each have their own slot.  Seriously.  Hold them up beside each other.  One big, one small.  Seriously!  Never knew that did you?

-Lids.  In my multi-tasking wizardry I am able to clean as I go.  I respect that there are other means in accomplishing kitchen tasks like cooking, but when you're done can you screw on the caps to everything BEFORE you put them back in the cabinet?  If not, one day I will spill the contents and it will piss me off and you will flip out that something went to waste.  Let's avoid that, ok?

-Doors.  Sit your non-OCD self down, I just checked the door.  Instead, why don't you use that energy and check the cabinets and lids in the kitchen????

-Tupperware.  Store shit in something with a lid, there's a whole cabinet of bowls and lids right over there.  Why in the fuck do you put stuff in a cereal bowl and a ziplock bag?  Bowls with lids are right behind you.  How long have you lived here?

-Change.  You never take your change when you load your pockets to go out the door despite insisting you NEED it.  What, does it make you feel wealthy to have fortyfive little piles of coin deposited around the house?  I find it annoying so after five days I am going to scoop it up and put it in the change bottle.  Deal with it.




...ahem... don't mind me.  Clearly I'm too bitchy to be around people.  I'll just go crawl in a hole or something.