Just The Facts

Something that just bugs the piss out of me is when a person cannot get to the point.  Spit it out, man!

I catch myself doing it so I'm not standing on some lofty pedestal looking down on everyone else.  I struggle with it quite a bit and maybe that makes someone else stumbling through their thoughts even more obvious to me. 

Here's the problem as I see it:  We confuse when to state the facts and when to tell a story.

When telling a story, the facts are not necessary.  If you forget the bellman's name, IT DOES NOT MATTER.  Make up a name or just refer to the person as "the bellman".  It doesn't even matter if the bellman was actually a woman.  Unless the bellman's name is the point of the story, move on.  Get to the point.  These same rules apply to telling a joke, and Lordy am I AWFUL at remember those puppies!

We are so freaking terrified of getting caught telling a lie that we hang ourselves trying to tell a fabulous story.  Get over it.  Who is going to visit the same hotel in the same city and check your facts?  NO ONE.  And if they do, they're too petty to bother with.

Hand to God, you will not go to jail for fibbing through a story.

Now the other time we get all jumbled is when we're trying to report a problem (like to your friendly technology person).  The fact that you were talking to Martha Louise when she was sitting in her office yesterday when she suggested that you come talk to me...... HUH?  Much easier to just say "Martha Louise suggested I ask if you had the January receipt report" but that is also a tad too wordy.  How about, "do you have the January receipt report?"

THEN if more detail is necessary the person will ask. 

There are some people that I just know are going to be a long conversation.  Before they ever get to the point I will have to completely stop what I'm doing, listen carefully to the particulars so I can pluck out the issue at hand while they stumble through the facts, back tracking to correct themselves.  And heaven forbid if I interrupt or try to speed the discussion along.  Nope, sit back and enjoy the muddled ride.

Remember, I said I'm guilty of this myself.  When I'm in the middle of relaying a story and am racking my brain to come up with a particular fact, I ask myself, would the story die if I just skipped over it and got to the point?  More often than not, the fact I'm struggling with is not pertinent.