Ways to horrify a man

Ways to horrify a man:

We were on our annual house boat trip, the gang, the obnoxious people you fear bringing "nice" people around. We were full swing into our drinking after a full day of even more drinking. My beaux at the time, a large body builder type threatened to toss loudmouth Pabitcha (her nickname for the past 8 years until this night) overboard. Naaaaah uhhhhh... she wasn't going to have any of that. And she yells a very graphic threat.

Now Beaux-At-The-Time, being new to the group and having previous contact with mostly "nice" people, didn't believe the threat. I covered my eyes, Booty backed up and Pabitcha's hubby, the fantastic master chef "Mickalicious", was just coming up the stairs when he saw the frakus and, knowing his wife, promptly turned around and went the other direction.

Beaux-At-The-Time, still oblivious to the serious nature of the situation, proceeded to lift Pabitcha at which point she made good on her threat and yanked out her tampon! She was promptly dropped to the ground as Beaux-At-The-Time stood in horror while she swung the cotton pony by the string above her head. Now it hadn't been in for very long, so there was no visible stainage, but she had been swimming so it was ladden with lake water and one of the other husbands, a nurse of all things, who should be used to bodily fluids, got splattered with what he referred to as "twat juice". Beaux-At-The-Time probably still suffers nightmares from the event and the male nurse surely had his eye properly flushed when he reached land.

Pabitcha has now been renamed RIPCORD.