Please excuse the goo in this picture. I'm sure it's something disgusting like bird shit on my car window.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sundays In My City - Baden, Missouri
Please excuse the goo in this picture. I'm sure it's something disgusting like bird shit on my car window.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday Fragments - February 24, 2012
Oh this week has been eventful in many ways. This is what I get for bemoaning a boring life, right?
Over the weekend my future daughter-in-law took the baby with her parents to visit her brother in Florida. My grandbaby got to go to the beach!!!! From the texts and pictures it looks like he had a great time.
*****
As they drove back to Missouri, my brother was making his way to Florida. I'm quite sure they passed each other. After a blown tire and a midnight fiasco trying to repair it, he managed to get to Florida, retrieve what he needed out of his storage locker and return three days later. Sadly the shrimp vendors only come out on the weekend so he didn't bring back any fresh shrimp. DARN!
*****
I made a special trip myself - to the ER! Don't worry, I'm fine. I have a history of rapid heartbeat and had a little episode. I went in to just be safe that it wasn't something truly scary. Over the last 25 years I've visited about half of the ER's in the St. Louis area. That means I have a few more to go. I went to Mercy Hospital (recently renamed from St. John's - a change I'm still getting used to). I had decent service although there has to be latex in some part of the EKG leads because I still have a rash from them!
*****
In other news, I managed to smack my leg into the toilet seat. I heard a crack, no not from my knee, WORSE... I managed to BREAK THE TOILET. Okay, just the toilet seat, but it was still a major inconvenience. Nothing like trying to do your business with the toilet lid resting on your back while keeping the seat in place with your thighs and not tipping over. That is way too much coordination for me during the day, much less at 2am. This required a trip to Walmart, a new seat selection and then installation. Why is it necessary for men (I don't know a single woman guilty of this) to rachet every single screw, nut, and bolt at it's absolute tightest? I didn't mess with the installation, but there was a lot of swearing and grumbling and seeking of alternate tools to undo the old seat and then rachet the new one down so the next sucker stuck with removing it will have to swear, grumble and seek alternate tools. Vicious circle.
*****
AND THEN... I would have posted this mess sometime on Friday but I made the mistake of getting my eye exam (another trip to Walmart). I love those wonky eye drops where I can't read shit. Of course they wait until after your eyes are all doped up before they ask you for payment and signing the payment slip. I'm pretty sure I've mortgaged off one of my children. Sorry kids.
Then, before we got home there was a panic call from my brother, back in town less than 24 hours and sitting roadside with a flat. We ended up sitting with my brother as he waited for a tow truck and then at the tire shop.
*****
I've had three days off work, which I had been wanting, just not like this. And now I need to get back to work so I can relax! :)
Over the weekend my future daughter-in-law took the baby with her parents to visit her brother in Florida. My grandbaby got to go to the beach!!!! From the texts and pictures it looks like he had a great time.
*****
As they drove back to Missouri, my brother was making his way to Florida. I'm quite sure they passed each other. After a blown tire and a midnight fiasco trying to repair it, he managed to get to Florida, retrieve what he needed out of his storage locker and return three days later. Sadly the shrimp vendors only come out on the weekend so he didn't bring back any fresh shrimp. DARN!
*****
I made a special trip myself - to the ER! Don't worry, I'm fine. I have a history of rapid heartbeat and had a little episode. I went in to just be safe that it wasn't something truly scary. Over the last 25 years I've visited about half of the ER's in the St. Louis area. That means I have a few more to go. I went to Mercy Hospital (recently renamed from St. John's - a change I'm still getting used to). I had decent service although there has to be latex in some part of the EKG leads because I still have a rash from them!
*****
In other news, I managed to smack my leg into the toilet seat. I heard a crack, no not from my knee, WORSE... I managed to BREAK THE TOILET. Okay, just the toilet seat, but it was still a major inconvenience. Nothing like trying to do your business with the toilet lid resting on your back while keeping the seat in place with your thighs and not tipping over. That is way too much coordination for me during the day, much less at 2am. This required a trip to Walmart, a new seat selection and then installation. Why is it necessary for men (I don't know a single woman guilty of this) to rachet every single screw, nut, and bolt at it's absolute tightest? I didn't mess with the installation, but there was a lot of swearing and grumbling and seeking of alternate tools to undo the old seat and then rachet the new one down so the next sucker stuck with removing it will have to swear, grumble and seek alternate tools. Vicious circle.
*****
AND THEN... I would have posted this mess sometime on Friday but I made the mistake of getting my eye exam (another trip to Walmart). I love those wonky eye drops where I can't read shit. Of course they wait until after your eyes are all doped up before they ask you for payment and signing the payment slip. I'm pretty sure I've mortgaged off one of my children. Sorry kids.
Then, before we got home there was a panic call from my brother, back in town less than 24 hours and sitting roadside with a flat. We ended up sitting with my brother as he waited for a tow truck and then at the tire shop.
*****
I've had three days off work, which I had been wanting, just not like this. And now I need to get back to work so I can relax! :)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
You Might Be From North Dakota
Although it's on my list of places to visit, I've never been to North Dakota. BUT, my brother lives in ND and my best friend's husband is from there so I've been loaded up with all sorts of local quirks. So when an email like this comes across my computer I feel some sort of familiarity...
(Send me your local "You might be from" emails and I'll share them when my brain goes dry for blog posts)
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inchesof ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in North Dakota.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in North Dakota.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", You might live in North Dakota
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in North Dakota.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in North Dakota.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in North Dakota.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in North Dakota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in North Dakota.
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in North Dakota.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Medina, Cando, and Hebron, You might live in North Dakota.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, You might live in North Dakota.
If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Grand Forks, Fargo, Minot or Bismarck (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in North Dakota.
If you measure distance in hours, You might live in North Dakota.
If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in North Dakota.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in North Dakota.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, You might live in North Dakota.
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in North Dakota.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in North Dakota.
If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in North Dakota.
If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison, You might live in North Dakota.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game, You might live in North Dakota.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in North Dakota.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in North Dakota.
If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Deer gun Opener, You might live in North Dakota.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in North Dakota.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in North Dakota.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in North Dakota.
If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in North Dakota.
If you consider Fargo exotic, You might live in North Dakota.
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in North Dakota.
If the sunbelt to you means Bismarck, You might live in North Dakota.
If a brat is something you eat, You might live in North Dakota.
If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in North Dakota.
If you go out to a fish fry every Friday, You might live in North Dakota.
If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in North Dakota.
(Send me your local "You might be from" emails and I'll share them when my brain goes dry for blog posts)
******
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inchesof ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in North Dakota.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in North Dakota.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", You might live in North Dakota
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in North Dakota.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in North Dakota.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in North Dakota.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in North Dakota.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in North Dakota.
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in North Dakota.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Medina, Cando, and Hebron, You might live in North Dakota.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, You might live in North Dakota.
If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Grand Forks, Fargo, Minot or Bismarck (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in North Dakota.
If you measure distance in hours, You might live in North Dakota.
If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in North Dakota.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in North Dakota.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, You might live in North Dakota.
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in North Dakota.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in North Dakota.
If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in North Dakota.
If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison, You might live in North Dakota.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game, You might live in North Dakota.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in North Dakota.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in North Dakota.
If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Deer gun Opener, You might live in North Dakota.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in North Dakota.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in North Dakota.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in North Dakota.
If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in North Dakota.
If you consider Fargo exotic, You might live in North Dakota.
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in North Dakota.
If the sunbelt to you means Bismarck, You might live in North Dakota.
If a brat is something you eat, You might live in North Dakota.
If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in North Dakota.
If you go out to a fish fry every Friday, You might live in North Dakota.
If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in North Dakota.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sunday in My City - Random Statue
This statue amuses me and I'm so glad I finally got a picture of it. This is in Richmond Heights, one of the many municipalities in St. Louis County. It's a pudgy horse with a pudgy rider. I vaguely remember a huge outcry when it was unveiled, but it's unique, that's for sure!
CORRECTION - this was in Clayton, MO (our townships all run together). And I found the details about the sculptor here.
Check out everyone else's city:
Friday, February 17, 2012
Friday Fragments - Feb 17, 2012
What a week, what a week...
Saturday night I headed out with my friends for a girls night. We went to see One For The Money and all enjoyed it a lot. Afterwards we were going to find a watering hole for a few drinks. I suggested that we go pester my brother who was at a bar across the parking lot trying to meet up with a girl he met the week before. Well, the girl never showed up so we hung out, basically ruining any chance he had with the rest of the women at the bar. That's sisterly love, ain't it?
It's been a while since I drank like that and had to endure a whopper of a hangover the next morning. Aspirin and a tall cup of water fixed me up by noon. It was totally worth it, though. I even got out on the dance floor and flailed without injuring innocent bystanders (I may have a history with that).
Monday our big snowstorm hit, it was so pretty. It was more than a dusting, maybe an inch or so? Other than a few accidents while it was snowing, it really didn't impact the area much and didn't hang around for long. BOO... I never got outside to take a picture of the pretty white stuff.
My daughter spent the week in Las Vegas for work. Anybody else jealous? I know she worked her ass off, but still, what a cool job.
I know everybody is looking for something fun to do this weekend - you should come to St. Louis! We're hosting the second largest Mardi Gras party in the nation. I guess if you're going to travel somewhere for Mardi Gras you should go to New Orleans. But you shouldn't dismiss the party happeneing here. St. Louisans looooooooove an excuse for public intoxication. I doubt I'll make it down to Soulard (old French district) this year. It kind of makes me sad. I've always had a great time when I attended in the past. Lots of milling around in a very old French neighborhood, stopping at all of the bars and various booths, and of course collecting beads. No, I've never had to flash to get my beads, usually batting my eyes is enough to get a few strands. I had an awesome collection for a while. I'm sure they're hiding in a box somewhere in my basement.
Laissez le bon temps rouler! Yeah, like anyone in St. Louis could say that correctly. That's okay, in a month - exactly from today - we'll all be copping an Irish accent and playing up another chance for public intoxication. Other than the jacked up weather I really do love this town.
If you really do come to St. Louis, make sure you read last Wednesday's post. It was the truths of driving in and around St. Louis - real important stuff. AND if you've ever owned a real piece of crap car, maybe preventing you from taking such a roadtrip, you should check out Tuesday's post and see how many points you can claim. I think I have 35 points.
Saturday night I headed out with my friends for a girls night. We went to see One For The Money and all enjoyed it a lot. Afterwards we were going to find a watering hole for a few drinks. I suggested that we go pester my brother who was at a bar across the parking lot trying to meet up with a girl he met the week before. Well, the girl never showed up so we hung out, basically ruining any chance he had with the rest of the women at the bar. That's sisterly love, ain't it?
It's been a while since I drank like that and had to endure a whopper of a hangover the next morning. Aspirin and a tall cup of water fixed me up by noon. It was totally worth it, though. I even got out on the dance floor and flailed without injuring innocent bystanders (I may have a history with that).
Monday our big snowstorm hit, it was so pretty. It was more than a dusting, maybe an inch or so? Other than a few accidents while it was snowing, it really didn't impact the area much and didn't hang around for long. BOO... I never got outside to take a picture of the pretty white stuff.
My daughter spent the week in Las Vegas for work. Anybody else jealous? I know she worked her ass off, but still, what a cool job.
I know everybody is looking for something fun to do this weekend - you should come to St. Louis! We're hosting the second largest Mardi Gras party in the nation. I guess if you're going to travel somewhere for Mardi Gras you should go to New Orleans. But you shouldn't dismiss the party happeneing here. St. Louisans looooooooove an excuse for public intoxication. I doubt I'll make it down to Soulard (old French district) this year. It kind of makes me sad. I've always had a great time when I attended in the past. Lots of milling around in a very old French neighborhood, stopping at all of the bars and various booths, and of course collecting beads. No, I've never had to flash to get my beads, usually batting my eyes is enough to get a few strands. I had an awesome collection for a while. I'm sure they're hiding in a box somewhere in my basement.
Laissez le bon temps rouler! Yeah, like anyone in St. Louis could say that correctly. That's okay, in a month - exactly from today - we'll all be copping an Irish accent and playing up another chance for public intoxication. Other than the jacked up weather I really do love this town.
If you really do come to St. Louis, make sure you read last Wednesday's post. It was the truths of driving in and around St. Louis - real important stuff. AND if you've ever owned a real piece of crap car, maybe preventing you from taking such a roadtrip, you should check out Tuesday's post and see how many points you can claim. I think I have 35 points.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Driving In St Louis
You know those emails that go around about "you know you're
from..."? Well here's one about driving in this precious little city -
point for point funny as hell and so true.
1. There are 75 "unofficial neighborhoods" in the City of St. Louis .
St. Louisans commonly give directions--especially for restaurants--to
strangers based on these neighborhoods, which aren't marked on any maps
that are handed out by the tourist board, the AAA or MapQuest .
2. There are 54 school districts--on the Missouri side alone--each of
which has their own school bus system with scheduled times to block
traffic.
3. There are 91 official municipalities in St. Louis County . Each
municipality has its own rules and regulations, and often their own
police departments.
4. More importantly, most have their own snow removal contracts so
it's not uncommon to drive down a road in winter and have one block
plowed, the next salted, the next piled with snow and the last
partially cleared by residents wanting to get out of their driveways.
5. Snow plowing is never a problem in the City of St. Louis . They
plow nothing, and if the forecast calls for snow, they close
everything. Except on "The Hill" (refer to #1 above) where each
homeowner goes out to the street and shovels out one car-sized
rectangle and then stands watch over it.
6. Any car parked longer than 4 hours in the city is considered a
parts store.
7. The City of Ballwin actually proposed that drivers use connecting
strip mall parking lots to get from place to place rather than drive on
Manchester road to cut the traffic on Manchester . (And for good reason.
There is a stoplight at every intersection on Manchester ).
8. Laclede Station Road , McCausland , Lindbergh , Watson , Reavis
Barracks, Fee Fee, McKnight, Airport Road , Midland , McKelvey , and Olive
mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.
9. Gravois Road, Spoede and Chouteau can only be pronounced by St.
Louis natives. (Highway 40 as is pronounced as " farty ".)
10. A St. Louisan from South County has never been to North County and
vise versa . West County just has everything delivered.
11. No native St. Louisan knows that Lindbergh runs from South County
to North County . And if you tell them, they will not believe you.
12. Lindbergh belongs to every neighborhood except Kirkwood , who had
the nerve to creatively change the name to Kirkwood Road ." (Which may
be the reason for number 11.)
13. There are 2 interchanges to exit from Highway 40 onto Clayton Road
and 2 for Big Bend . Stay alert, people!
14. If you need directions to O'Fallon , make sure to specify Illinois
or Missouri . This is also true for Troy , Maryville , St. Charles ,
Springfield and Columbia .
15. The Page Avenue extension and Airport expansion projects took over
20 years to get approved. St. Louisans lost track of how many political
figures claimed them as their own ideas.
16. St. Louisans were aghast when the federal government required them
to redo the highway signs to indicate that the federal highways went to
cities in other states instead of local municipalities.
17. Drivers are starting to cut their OWN plates rather than go
through the Missouri Department of Motor Vehicles to get new tags. You
can also purchase tags from dealers behind Quick Shops in the city. They
are cheaper, the clerks are nicer, and the service is faster.
18. Lambert Field and St. Louis International Airport really are the
same place. The East Terminal, however, is a different place.
19. Highway 270 is our daily version of the NASCAR circuit.
20. You can go all four directions on Highway 270: North and South in
West County , East and West in South County , and East and West in North
County. Confused? So are St. Louis drivers.
21. The outer belt is Highway 270 which turns into Highway 255 in
South County . The inner belt is Highway 170. Highway 370 is an
outer-outer belt. Highway 40 is the same as Interstate 64 (but only
through the middle part of St. Louis ). If you are listening to traffic
reports and they are calling it 64, the traffic jam is in Illinois . If
they are calling it 40, the traffic jam is in Missouri .
22. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 AM. The evening rush
hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
morning.
23. Never ever try to cross a bridge in St. Louis during rush hour
unless you have a sack lunch and a port-a-potty in the car.
24. "Yield" signs are for decoration only. No native St. Louisan will
ever grasp the concept. (Actually, the drivers who are supposed to yield
will not, and the drivers who are not supposed to yield will wait
politely for the ones who are supposed to yield, so it all works out.)
25. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect, or has been on for the last 17 miles.
26. Construction on Highways 40, 64, 70, 255, 270, 44, 55 and 170 is a
way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.
27. All blue-haired old ladies in Cadillac's driving on Olive west of
270 have the right of way.
28. If it snows or rains, stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!
29. It is called a rolling stop at any stop sign intersection. Only
native St. Louisans can do it just right.
30. In West County, 20 cars will go through a yellow light. Longest
yellow lights I have ever seen. If you slow or stop on a yellow light,
you will get rear-ended or someone will angrily sound their horn at
you.
1. There are 75 "unofficial neighborhoods" in the City of St. Louis .
St. Louisans commonly give directions--especially for restaurants--to
strangers based on these neighborhoods, which aren't marked on any maps
that are handed out by the tourist board, the AAA or MapQuest .
2. There are 54 school districts--on the Missouri side alone--each of
which has their own school bus system with scheduled times to block
traffic.
3. There are 91 official municipalities in St. Louis County . Each
municipality has its own rules and regulations, and often their own
police departments.
4. More importantly, most have their own snow removal contracts so
it's not uncommon to drive down a road in winter and have one block
plowed, the next salted, the next piled with snow and the last
partially cleared by residents wanting to get out of their driveways.
5. Snow plowing is never a problem in the City of St. Louis . They
plow nothing, and if the forecast calls for snow, they close
everything. Except on "The Hill" (refer to #1 above) where each
homeowner goes out to the street and shovels out one car-sized
rectangle and then stands watch over it.
6. Any car parked longer than 4 hours in the city is considered a
parts store.
7. The City of Ballwin actually proposed that drivers use connecting
strip mall parking lots to get from place to place rather than drive on
Manchester road to cut the traffic on Manchester . (And for good reason.
There is a stoplight at every intersection on Manchester ).
8. Laclede Station Road , McCausland , Lindbergh , Watson , Reavis
Barracks, Fee Fee, McKnight, Airport Road , Midland , McKelvey , and Olive
mysteriously change names as you cross intersections.
9. Gravois Road, Spoede and Chouteau can only be pronounced by St.
Louis natives. (Highway 40 as is pronounced as " farty ".)
10. A St. Louisan from South County has never been to North County and
vise versa . West County just has everything delivered.
11. No native St. Louisan knows that Lindbergh runs from South County
to North County . And if you tell them, they will not believe you.
12. Lindbergh belongs to every neighborhood except Kirkwood , who had
the nerve to creatively change the name to Kirkwood Road ." (Which may
be the reason for number 11.)
13. There are 2 interchanges to exit from Highway 40 onto Clayton Road
and 2 for Big Bend . Stay alert, people!
14. If you need directions to O'Fallon , make sure to specify Illinois
or Missouri . This is also true for Troy , Maryville , St. Charles ,
Springfield and Columbia .
15. The Page Avenue extension and Airport expansion projects took over
20 years to get approved. St. Louisans lost track of how many political
figures claimed them as their own ideas.
16. St. Louisans were aghast when the federal government required them
to redo the highway signs to indicate that the federal highways went to
cities in other states instead of local municipalities.
17. Drivers are starting to cut their OWN plates rather than go
through the Missouri Department of Motor Vehicles to get new tags. You
can also purchase tags from dealers behind Quick Shops in the city. They
are cheaper, the clerks are nicer, and the service is faster.
18. Lambert Field and St. Louis International Airport really are the
same place. The East Terminal, however, is a different place.
19. Highway 270 is our daily version of the NASCAR circuit.
20. You can go all four directions on Highway 270: North and South in
West County , East and West in South County , and East and West in North
County. Confused? So are St. Louis drivers.
21. The outer belt is Highway 270 which turns into Highway 255 in
South County . The inner belt is Highway 170. Highway 370 is an
outer-outer belt. Highway 40 is the same as Interstate 64 (but only
through the middle part of St. Louis ). If you are listening to traffic
reports and they are calling it 64, the traffic jam is in Illinois . If
they are calling it 40, the traffic jam is in Missouri .
22. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00 AM. The evening rush
hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
morning.
23. Never ever try to cross a bridge in St. Louis during rush hour
unless you have a sack lunch and a port-a-potty in the car.
24. "Yield" signs are for decoration only. No native St. Louisan will
ever grasp the concept. (Actually, the drivers who are supposed to yield
will not, and the drivers who are not supposed to yield will wait
politely for the ones who are supposed to yield, so it all works out.)
25. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect, or has been on for the last 17 miles.
26. Construction on Highways 40, 64, 70, 255, 270, 44, 55 and 170 is a
way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment.
27. All blue-haired old ladies in Cadillac's driving on Olive west of
270 have the right of way.
28. If it snows or rains, stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!
29. It is called a rolling stop at any stop sign intersection. Only
native St. Louisans can do it just right.
30. In West County, 20 cars will go through a yellow light. Longest
yellow lights I have ever seen. If you slow or stop on a yellow light,
you will get rear-ended or someone will angrily sound their horn at
you.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A New Game! POS Car Points
Based on yesterday's post about Piece Of Shit let's make a game out of it. How many points can you earn based on your past experiences with crappy cars? Increase your points by adding to the list (email or comment)!
One point for each item that you have ever experienced with a car you owned:
1 Stalling out at stop lights
2 Broken gas gauge
3 Carry a gas can because of broken gas gauge
4 Continuously stop to put another $5 of gas into car because of broken gas gauge
5 Running out of gas 2 blocks away from any gas station
6 Roll into gas station, completely out of fuel
7 You describe your car color as "rust", "technicolor", "tri" or "quad" color
8 Locking your car is unnecessary, sometimes impossible
9 You have perfected the Dukes of Hazard move of jumping through a window because doors don't properly open
10 Opening a car door by sticking your hand out the window because the inside knob is missing or jammed
11 Windows that don't roll down
12 Driver's door is jammed meaning you have to enter and exit via passenger side door
13 Mystery smell every time you use the heater (mine smelled exactly like stale hamburgers)
14 Inoperable A/C
15 Looks of pity when you drive through a "bad" neighborhood
16 Broken horn
17 Cars that whiz past you include little old ladies who can barely see over their steering wheels
18 Can only access the trunk by removing a rear seat
19 Broken radio or radio stuck on one station, usually a religious station, talk radio, or dueling accordions
20 Drooping roof liner
21 Do-it-yourself repair job on drooping roof liner (rivets, staples, chicken wire….)
21 Duct tape and wire hangers are holding on important parts like muffler, fenders, and hood
22 Starting up the vehicle on cold mornings sounds like waking up a grumpy giant
23 You have sliced open your thigh on jagged seat vinyl
24 Opening/closing a window involves forcing the glass up or down with your hands
25 You've ducked from gunshots... only to find out it was your car backfiring
26 Car in the driveway and you ride the bus to work
27 Other people don't park close to you
28 You find yourself standing in a junkyard looking for parts
29 While standing in a junkyard you spot a vehicle you once owned!
30 Strong arms from broken power steering
31 Oil stains mark your parking spot
32 Front window only defrosts on passenger side (actually I think that's standard on ALL vehicles)
33 Mirror cannot be adjusted as it has been repaired with super glue and bubble gum
34 You carry extra oil
35 You know how to add extra oil
36 You've experienced a roll-over birthday is (when your car has reached 100,000 miles for the 3rd or 4th time)
37 A screwdriver serves as your gear shift
38 You're convinced the previous owner didn't understand the concept of ashtrays
39 Bullet holes
40 Bullet still lodged in car
41 Before the petrified hamburger and fries science project made news you knew the results based on food left on your backseat.
42 You're fairly certain your car sat submerged in a body of water for more than a few days.
43 Seats don't adjust
44 You have to turn off the A/C to have enough power to go up a hill
45 Experience five flat tires (yes even the spare) in the same trip only to return home with tires that are worth more than the car
46 Bumper sticker concealing a crack in the bumper
47 Inaccessible glove compartment (and speculations about a hidden gun)
48 Detachable mirrors
49 Cracked windshield
50 Missing side or rear windows
51 Using a trashbag as a replacement for broken window
52 Hitchhikers run when they see you coming
53 You can see the road pass underneath as you drive due to a giant hole in the floor of the car
54 You've hung out of the driver's side window while driving down the highway with a squeegee because your windshield wipers no longer work
55 The words Gremlin or Pacer anywhere on your vehicle
56 There is a hole in the dashboard where a radio used to be but have filled it with a battery operated clock radio
57 Every time you hit a bump in the road, the station changes
58 People can see your exhaust fumes coming from a mile away.
59 Hood screwed on requiring screwdriver to check/change any fluids
60 Car fire!
61 No registration because that's admitting you actually own it.
62 No insurance because no one would cover it.
63 Children are too embarrassed to ride in it.
Post your point total in the comment section.
One point for each item that you have ever experienced with a car you owned:
1 Stalling out at stop lights
2 Broken gas gauge
3 Carry a gas can because of broken gas gauge
4 Continuously stop to put another $5 of gas into car because of broken gas gauge
5 Running out of gas 2 blocks away from any gas station
6 Roll into gas station, completely out of fuel
7 You describe your car color as "rust", "technicolor", "tri" or "quad" color
8 Locking your car is unnecessary, sometimes impossible
9 You have perfected the Dukes of Hazard move of jumping through a window because doors don't properly open
10 Opening a car door by sticking your hand out the window because the inside knob is missing or jammed
11 Windows that don't roll down
12 Driver's door is jammed meaning you have to enter and exit via passenger side door
13 Mystery smell every time you use the heater (mine smelled exactly like stale hamburgers)
14 Inoperable A/C
15 Looks of pity when you drive through a "bad" neighborhood
16 Broken horn
17 Cars that whiz past you include little old ladies who can barely see over their steering wheels
18 Can only access the trunk by removing a rear seat
19 Broken radio or radio stuck on one station, usually a religious station, talk radio, or dueling accordions
20 Drooping roof liner
21 Do-it-yourself repair job on drooping roof liner (rivets, staples, chicken wire….)
21 Duct tape and wire hangers are holding on important parts like muffler, fenders, and hood
22 Starting up the vehicle on cold mornings sounds like waking up a grumpy giant
23 You have sliced open your thigh on jagged seat vinyl
24 Opening/closing a window involves forcing the glass up or down with your hands
25 You've ducked from gunshots... only to find out it was your car backfiring
26 Car in the driveway and you ride the bus to work
27 Other people don't park close to you
28 You find yourself standing in a junkyard looking for parts
29 While standing in a junkyard you spot a vehicle you once owned!
30 Strong arms from broken power steering
31 Oil stains mark your parking spot
32 Front window only defrosts on passenger side (actually I think that's standard on ALL vehicles)
33 Mirror cannot be adjusted as it has been repaired with super glue and bubble gum
34 You carry extra oil
35 You know how to add extra oil
36 You've experienced a roll-over birthday is (when your car has reached 100,000 miles for the 3rd or 4th time)
37 A screwdriver serves as your gear shift
38 You're convinced the previous owner didn't understand the concept of ashtrays
39 Bullet holes
40 Bullet still lodged in car
41 Before the petrified hamburger and fries science project made news you knew the results based on food left on your backseat.
42 You're fairly certain your car sat submerged in a body of water for more than a few days.
43 Seats don't adjust
44 You have to turn off the A/C to have enough power to go up a hill
45 Experience five flat tires (yes even the spare) in the same trip only to return home with tires that are worth more than the car
46 Bumper sticker concealing a crack in the bumper
47 Inaccessible glove compartment (and speculations about a hidden gun)
48 Detachable mirrors
49 Cracked windshield
50 Missing side or rear windows
51 Using a trashbag as a replacement for broken window
52 Hitchhikers run when they see you coming
53 You can see the road pass underneath as you drive due to a giant hole in the floor of the car
54 You've hung out of the driver's side window while driving down the highway with a squeegee because your windshield wipers no longer work
55 The words Gremlin or Pacer anywhere on your vehicle
56 There is a hole in the dashboard where a radio used to be but have filled it with a battery operated clock radio
57 Every time you hit a bump in the road, the station changes
58 People can see your exhaust fumes coming from a mile away.
59 Hood screwed on requiring screwdriver to check/change any fluids
60 Car fire!
61 No registration because that's admitting you actually own it.
62 No insurance because no one would cover it.
63 Children are too embarrassed to ride in it.
Post your point total in the comment section.
Monday, February 13, 2012
POS Car Blues
Things you are likely to experience driving a POS (piece of shit) car:
1. Stalling out at stop lights
2. Broken gas gauge meaning you either
a. Carry a gas can
b. Continuously stop to put another $5 of gas into car
c. Running out of gas 2 blocks away from any gas station (or as you roll into gas station) ...a lot
3. You describe your car color as "rust", "technicolor", "tri" or "quad" color
4. Locking your car is unnecessary, sometimes impossible
5. You have perfected the Dukes of Hazard move of jumping through a window because doors don't properly open
6. Opening a car door by sticking your hand out the window because the inside knob is missing or jammed
7. Windows that don't roll down
8. Driver's door is jammed meaning you have to enter and exit via passenger side door
9. Mystery smell every time you use the heater (mine smelled exactly like stale hamburgers)
10. Inoperable A/C
11. Looks of pity when you drive through a "bad" neighborhood
12. Broken horn
13. Cars that whiz past you include little old ladies who can barely see over their steering wheels
14. Can only access the trunk by removing a rear seat
15. Broken radio or radio stuck on one station, usually a religious station, talk radio, or dueling accordions
16. Drooping roof liner. People have told me about a guy who used chicken wire to repair one, many have used staple guns, and my step-dad repaired mine with RIVETS. It was sort of pretty in a starry night sort of way.
17. Duct tape and wire hangers are holding on important parts like muffler, fenders, and hood
18. Starting up the vehicle on cold mornings sounds like waking up a grumpy giant
19. You have sliced open your thigh on jagged seat vinyl
20. Opening/closing a window involves forcing the glass up or down with your hands
21. You've ducked from gunshots... only to find out it was your car backfiring
22. Car in the driveway and you ride the bus to work
23. Other people don't park close to you
24. You find yourself standing in a junkyard looking for parts
25. While standing in a junkyard you spot a vehicle you once owned!
26. Strong arms from broken power steering
27. Oil stains mark your parking spot
28. Front window only defrosts on passenger side (actually I think that's standard on ALL vehicles)
29. Mirror cannot be adjusted as it has been repaired with super glue and bubble gum
30. You carry extra oil... and know how to add it
31. You know what a roll-over birthday is (when your car has reached 100,000 miles for the 3rd or 4th time)
32. A screwdriver serves as your gear shift
33. You're convinced the previous owner didn't understand the concept of ashtrays
34. Bullet holes (bonus points if bullet is still lodged in vehicle)
35. Before the petrified hamburger and fries science project made news you knew the results based on food left on your backseat.
36. You're fairly certain your car sat submerged in a body of water for more than a few days.
37. Seats don't adjust
38. You have to turn off the A/C to have enough power to go up a hill
39. Experience five flat tires (yes even the spare) in the same trip only to return home with tires that are worth more than the car
40. Bumper sticker concealing a crack in the bumper
41. Inaccessible glove compartment (and speculations about a hidden gun)
42. Detachable mirrors
43. Cracked windshield
44. Missing side or rear windows (extra points for using a trashbag as a replacement)
Any three of these should qualify your car as a POS. By the way, I have experienced each and every one of these points, many of them with the same car. I have a long history of POS car ownership, something I only recently overcame. Do you KNOW how happy I am to own a vehicle that doesn't need to have the A/C turned off so I can go UP a hill?
Please comment if you can think of other things to add to the list. 50 items would be great, but I really want to get up to 100.
1. Stalling out at stop lights
2. Broken gas gauge meaning you either
a. Carry a gas can
b. Continuously stop to put another $5 of gas into car
c. Running out of gas 2 blocks away from any gas station (or as you roll into gas station) ...a lot
3. You describe your car color as "rust", "technicolor", "tri" or "quad" color
4. Locking your car is unnecessary, sometimes impossible
5. You have perfected the Dukes of Hazard move of jumping through a window because doors don't properly open
6. Opening a car door by sticking your hand out the window because the inside knob is missing or jammed
7. Windows that don't roll down
8. Driver's door is jammed meaning you have to enter and exit via passenger side door
9. Mystery smell every time you use the heater (mine smelled exactly like stale hamburgers)
10. Inoperable A/C
11. Looks of pity when you drive through a "bad" neighborhood
12. Broken horn
13. Cars that whiz past you include little old ladies who can barely see over their steering wheels
14. Can only access the trunk by removing a rear seat
15. Broken radio or radio stuck on one station, usually a religious station, talk radio, or dueling accordions
16. Drooping roof liner. People have told me about a guy who used chicken wire to repair one, many have used staple guns, and my step-dad repaired mine with RIVETS. It was sort of pretty in a starry night sort of way.
17. Duct tape and wire hangers are holding on important parts like muffler, fenders, and hood
18. Starting up the vehicle on cold mornings sounds like waking up a grumpy giant
19. You have sliced open your thigh on jagged seat vinyl
20. Opening/closing a window involves forcing the glass up or down with your hands
21. You've ducked from gunshots... only to find out it was your car backfiring
22. Car in the driveway and you ride the bus to work
23. Other people don't park close to you
24. You find yourself standing in a junkyard looking for parts
25. While standing in a junkyard you spot a vehicle you once owned!
26. Strong arms from broken power steering
27. Oil stains mark your parking spot
28. Front window only defrosts on passenger side (actually I think that's standard on ALL vehicles)
29. Mirror cannot be adjusted as it has been repaired with super glue and bubble gum
30. You carry extra oil... and know how to add it
31. You know what a roll-over birthday is (when your car has reached 100,000 miles for the 3rd or 4th time)
32. A screwdriver serves as your gear shift
33. You're convinced the previous owner didn't understand the concept of ashtrays
34. Bullet holes (bonus points if bullet is still lodged in vehicle)
35. Before the petrified hamburger and fries science project made news you knew the results based on food left on your backseat.
36. You're fairly certain your car sat submerged in a body of water for more than a few days.
37. Seats don't adjust
38. You have to turn off the A/C to have enough power to go up a hill
39. Experience five flat tires (yes even the spare) in the same trip only to return home with tires that are worth more than the car
40. Bumper sticker concealing a crack in the bumper
41. Inaccessible glove compartment (and speculations about a hidden gun)
42. Detachable mirrors
43. Cracked windshield
44. Missing side or rear windows (extra points for using a trashbag as a replacement)
Any three of these should qualify your car as a POS. By the way, I have experienced each and every one of these points, many of them with the same car. I have a long history of POS car ownership, something I only recently overcame. Do you KNOW how happy I am to own a vehicle that doesn't need to have the A/C turned off so I can go UP a hill?
Please comment if you can think of other things to add to the list. 50 items would be great, but I really want to get up to 100.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friday Fragments - January... wait... February 10, 2012
I just walked through the house with an empty cup and a bowl of dry cereal. Last night we moved everything out of the kitchen fridge into the spare refrigerator in the back sunroom so we can defrost and give it a thorough scrub down. It's amazing how gross a refrigerator can get. That meant my milk and fruit juice were in a different part of the house this morning. It just felt funny walking around with dishes like that.
******
I had another good laugh this morning as my brother and I joked around about the benefits of driving around in a piece-of-shit car. His clunky van does not like the cold and has problems getting up hills so driving to work yesterday was a slow, tortuous process where he was sure old ladies was flipping him off. Maybe one day I will list the perks of POS cars. I certainly have plenty of experience with them, that's for sure!
Please feel free to share your experiences with driving crappy cars. I'll try to make that my Monday post (so come back and see what I whip up, okay?)
******
There is another post coming together. A former co-worker promises to send me her email exchange with a guy from online dating. She knows of my really cool talent where I can take a man's email and dice it to pieces, pulling out what the phrases REALLY mean. This was about the only thing I gained from my dating years. For example, "I am bilingual" means "I frequently speak bullshit."
Well, her email hasn't arrived yet so maybe I'll just need a friendly reader to share dating posts they've come across.
******
A very scary thing happened this week, the kids' house had a fire! I've joked that only my daughter could manage to catch a kitchen sink on fire, but actually the garbage disposal shorted out and started an electrical fire.
This seriously could have had horrible consequences.
Fortunately it happened in the early evening when everyone was awake, not in the middle of the night. The fire was caught very early and they were able to call 911 so that the damage was contained to only the kitchen. The house has been declared uninhabitable, but my daughter had the foresight to get renter's insurance. All of their stuff is getting cleaned and will be packed and moved to their new residence. Oh yeah, that had already been arranged too because they were all planning on moving out by the end of the month anyway.
This might be a good thing for my former mother-in-law, the owner of the house, as the insurance money she gets from the fire might be enough to make other repairs so she can prepare the house for sale.
Well, like I said, they were very lucky.
******
******
I had another good laugh this morning as my brother and I joked around about the benefits of driving around in a piece-of-shit car. His clunky van does not like the cold and has problems getting up hills so driving to work yesterday was a slow, tortuous process where he was sure old ladies was flipping him off. Maybe one day I will list the perks of POS cars. I certainly have plenty of experience with them, that's for sure!
Please feel free to share your experiences with driving crappy cars. I'll try to make that my Monday post (so come back and see what I whip up, okay?)
******
There is another post coming together. A former co-worker promises to send me her email exchange with a guy from online dating. She knows of my really cool talent where I can take a man's email and dice it to pieces, pulling out what the phrases REALLY mean. This was about the only thing I gained from my dating years. For example, "I am bilingual" means "I frequently speak bullshit."
Well, her email hasn't arrived yet so maybe I'll just need a friendly reader to share dating posts they've come across.
******
A very scary thing happened this week, the kids' house had a fire! I've joked that only my daughter could manage to catch a kitchen sink on fire, but actually the garbage disposal shorted out and started an electrical fire.
This seriously could have had horrible consequences.
Fortunately it happened in the early evening when everyone was awake, not in the middle of the night. The fire was caught very early and they were able to call 911 so that the damage was contained to only the kitchen. The house has been declared uninhabitable, but my daughter had the foresight to get renter's insurance. All of their stuff is getting cleaned and will be packed and moved to their new residence. Oh yeah, that had already been arranged too because they were all planning on moving out by the end of the month anyway.
This might be a good thing for my former mother-in-law, the owner of the house, as the insurance money she gets from the fire might be enough to make other repairs so she can prepare the house for sale.
Well, like I said, they were very lucky.
******
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Monday, February 06, 2012
Kid Art
I have such an extreme fondness for kid art! It pained me to toss out anything my kids made, especially what they drew. All three of my kids are very talented artists, but the squiggle lined stuff they made when they were little is definitely my favorite.
Their schoolwork is sitting in my basement, becoming brittle over time, stored away in giant rubbermaid tubs. One day I'll scan them. One piece stands out as my son's preschool class was supposed to make T-shirts for Mother's Day. I never got around to transferring his iron-on to a shirt. It was a drawing of him by him using special crayons that easily transfer. As special as that was, it sat and sat and sat, like most of my projects. One day I wised up and ironed it onto a white piece of fabric then embroidered over it. That's good almost forever. Now it sits waiting for me to make a mom quilt for myself, but I want to stitch other masterpieces, the ones waiting in the rubbermaid tub.
Well today on Pinterest, I saw the most amazing transformation of kid art. I don't know that I will ever do this, but it is most definitely worth sharing. The woman is talented!
http://childsown.wordpress.com/
Their schoolwork is sitting in my basement, becoming brittle over time, stored away in giant rubbermaid tubs. One day I'll scan them. One piece stands out as my son's preschool class was supposed to make T-shirts for Mother's Day. I never got around to transferring his iron-on to a shirt. It was a drawing of him by him using special crayons that easily transfer. As special as that was, it sat and sat and sat, like most of my projects. One day I wised up and ironed it onto a white piece of fabric then embroidered over it. That's good almost forever. Now it sits waiting for me to make a mom quilt for myself, but I want to stitch other masterpieces, the ones waiting in the rubbermaid tub.
Well today on Pinterest, I saw the most amazing transformation of kid art. I don't know that I will ever do this, but it is most definitely worth sharing. The woman is talented!
http://childsown.wordpress.com/
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Sunday In My City - Stadium Tour
OMG - have you ever attended an event that you just KNEW was special? Well Friday night I went to a fundraiser held at Busch Stadium, honoring Jason Isringhausen who has been a huge supporter of the non-profit where I work.
I'm not a particularly huge baseball fan, but this was WAY COOL.
I got to see the 2006 World Series trophy (2011 is on tour).
We had a tour of the stadium into areas I will never see.
It included see the media room where they give their interviews
And the dugout. I love love love this shot - from the dugout, capturing the grass, seats and city skyline.
And then we got to rub elbows with four players
Jason Isringhausen, John Mabry, Andy Benes, and our newly named coach, Mike Matheny (sorry if I got any of the spellings incorrect).
I'm not a particularly huge baseball fan, but this was WAY COOL.
I got to see the 2006 World Series trophy (2011 is on tour).
We had a tour of the stadium into areas I will never see.
It included see the media room where they give their interviews
And the dugout. I love love love this shot - from the dugout, capturing the grass, seats and city skyline.
And then we got to rub elbows with four players
Jason Isringhausen, John Mabry, Andy Benes, and our newly named coach, Mike Matheny (sorry if I got any of the spellings incorrect).
Friday, February 03, 2012
Friday Fragments - January 3, 2012
Okay, everyone bellyaching about the loss of winter? Denver is currently getting pummeled. Quit yer bitchin' and appreciate the pleasantness. I have never heard so much negativity around something so beautiful. How about a few doses of gratitude? Savor what you've been given instead of worrying about when it will stop. Anyone who can bitch about a beautiful, sunny day is not capable of being happy.
It is a glorioius day and I love it.
******
Yesterday I met with my son's English teacher. It's a little late in the school year to be holding a parent-teacher conference, but hopefully early enough in the semester. He's just not grasping certain concepts so in order to be a better tutor I had to find out what she's presenting in class, how she tests and where to find more information. It was a productive meeting and now she knows I'm on board with getting this kid through her class.
And while he's bombing English, he just signed up for Honors Geometry. There is not a chance in hell that I will be able to help him in that class. I remember telling his brother and sister when they maxed out my knowledge and would have to seek tutors for any assistance. The look on their faces was priceless - I really DON'T know everything.
******
Dear Daughter,
Beware of your 45th year. That is when hormones will start to kick your ass. Sleepless nights, random sweating, weird periods, bursts of energy, complete lack of energy, grogginess. I think forgetfulness is a symptom, but I've been suffering that my entire life so I don't notice. People are telling me this will last at least five years. Yippee. Oh, and gray hair. You do know you're doomed to a life of coloring or else changing into a silverback?
You've been warned,
Crazy Cat Lady In The Making
******
Yeah, I actually had to leave work because I was so groggy. Honestly, it hasn't been too terrible, but the sporadic nature of symptoms is annoying. I wish I could find the triggers or patterns so I could at least have a little preparation or be able to say to myself "aha, hormones going insane, time to lie down."
******
I still haven't made a pie like I keep nagging myself to do. No, I went the easier route by making a Pineapple Upside-Down Cake. I swear this is easy-smeasy. After baking several where you make the cake batter from scratch and not really liking the cake itself (I mean come on, shouldn't the cake be delicious before you add all the gooey stuff?) I found an easier solution.
So here is my secret to fabulous Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
LEMON cake mix - any brand. You'll also need 1 can of pineapple rings and 1 can of pineapple tidbits (in natural juices not syrup), brown sugar, and whatever stuff the mix requires like oil and eggs.
Start off by spreading an even layer of brown sugar on the bottom of your pan (the springform pans are awesome, but when I'm super lazy I use a 9x13 and just don't flip it out of the dish at the end... which is a lie because I have flipped a 9x13 onto a platter and then slid it back into the dish with the pineapple slices face up).
No, I did not melt butter or spray the pan. Just an even layer of brown sugar, not so thin you can see the pan, but not too thick that you have to pat it down. It might be 2 cups, maybe less, clearly I just open the bag and start shaking it out. Since there's no goo in the pan you can scoop out any excess.
Drain the juice from the slices and tidbits into a cup because you're going to need it later.
Arrange the slices into a pretty design on the brown sugar. If you have maricino cherries you can pop them into the picture too. I don't because I never have them on hand.
You're ready to mix the cake. Replace the water with the drained pineapple juice. Go a little lighter than it says because there is still a ton of juice in the pineapple pieces. Add the eggs and oil as specified on the box. Once your cake batter is free of major blobs stir in the pineapple tidbits. Do not use "chunks" because they are just too large.
Pour it in the prepared pan and cook according to the directions. Once you hear the timer, turn off the oven, but leave the cake in there. It's still too jiggly in the middle. I keep telling myself I should put foil on the cake to get that center fully baked without burning the edges, but I always forget.
This is a very moist cake (even when I burn the edges) and the lemon cake mix is a perfect blend with the pineapple.
It is a glorioius day and I love it.
******
Yesterday I met with my son's English teacher. It's a little late in the school year to be holding a parent-teacher conference, but hopefully early enough in the semester. He's just not grasping certain concepts so in order to be a better tutor I had to find out what she's presenting in class, how she tests and where to find more information. It was a productive meeting and now she knows I'm on board with getting this kid through her class.
And while he's bombing English, he just signed up for Honors Geometry. There is not a chance in hell that I will be able to help him in that class. I remember telling his brother and sister when they maxed out my knowledge and would have to seek tutors for any assistance. The look on their faces was priceless - I really DON'T know everything.
******
Dear Daughter,
Beware of your 45th year. That is when hormones will start to kick your ass. Sleepless nights, random sweating, weird periods, bursts of energy, complete lack of energy, grogginess. I think forgetfulness is a symptom, but I've been suffering that my entire life so I don't notice. People are telling me this will last at least five years. Yippee. Oh, and gray hair. You do know you're doomed to a life of coloring or else changing into a silverback?
You've been warned,
Crazy Cat Lady In The Making
******
Yeah, I actually had to leave work because I was so groggy. Honestly, it hasn't been too terrible, but the sporadic nature of symptoms is annoying. I wish I could find the triggers or patterns so I could at least have a little preparation or be able to say to myself "aha, hormones going insane, time to lie down."
******
I still haven't made a pie like I keep nagging myself to do. No, I went the easier route by making a Pineapple Upside-Down Cake. I swear this is easy-smeasy. After baking several where you make the cake batter from scratch and not really liking the cake itself (I mean come on, shouldn't the cake be delicious before you add all the gooey stuff?) I found an easier solution.
So here is my secret to fabulous Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
LEMON cake mix - any brand. You'll also need 1 can of pineapple rings and 1 can of pineapple tidbits (in natural juices not syrup), brown sugar, and whatever stuff the mix requires like oil and eggs.
Start off by spreading an even layer of brown sugar on the bottom of your pan (the springform pans are awesome, but when I'm super lazy I use a 9x13 and just don't flip it out of the dish at the end... which is a lie because I have flipped a 9x13 onto a platter and then slid it back into the dish with the pineapple slices face up).
No, I did not melt butter or spray the pan. Just an even layer of brown sugar, not so thin you can see the pan, but not too thick that you have to pat it down. It might be 2 cups, maybe less, clearly I just open the bag and start shaking it out. Since there's no goo in the pan you can scoop out any excess.
Drain the juice from the slices and tidbits into a cup because you're going to need it later.
Arrange the slices into a pretty design on the brown sugar. If you have maricino cherries you can pop them into the picture too. I don't because I never have them on hand.
You're ready to mix the cake. Replace the water with the drained pineapple juice. Go a little lighter than it says because there is still a ton of juice in the pineapple pieces. Add the eggs and oil as specified on the box. Once your cake batter is free of major blobs stir in the pineapple tidbits. Do not use "chunks" because they are just too large.
Pour it in the prepared pan and cook according to the directions. Once you hear the timer, turn off the oven, but leave the cake in there. It's still too jiggly in the middle. I keep telling myself I should put foil on the cake to get that center fully baked without burning the edges, but I always forget.
This is a very moist cake (even when I burn the edges) and the lemon cake mix is a perfect blend with the pineapple.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Adam-12
It finally happened. Yesterday, I made a reference to something that the under-35 crowd didn't understand.
The night before I heard the "N" word said on Adam-12. Someone at the lunch table had a perplexed look, interrupted the conversation and asked, "what's Adam-12?"
And then three more people chimed in, "yeah, what is that?"
Oh holy shit. These people are too young to have heard of it, let alone watched it.
Of course, they could accidentally see Adam-12 on cable, unlike me who willingly watches it. But who would want to watch an early 1970's cop show other than old people with a sense of nostalgia?
I bet those wippersnappers haven't watched Emergency either.
The night before I heard the "N" word said on Adam-12. Someone at the lunch table had a perplexed look, interrupted the conversation and asked, "what's Adam-12?"
And then three more people chimed in, "yeah, what is that?"
Oh holy shit. These people are too young to have heard of it, let alone watched it.
Of course, they could accidentally see Adam-12 on cable, unlike me who willingly watches it. But who would want to watch an early 1970's cop show other than old people with a sense of nostalgia?
I bet those wippersnappers haven't watched Emergency either.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)