Patty Higgins, a woman I knew as "Pateeta", passed away on Easter. She has been fighting ovarian cancer for a long time and since Christmas has been in and out of the hospital. She knew she was terminal but chose to live on her terms. Several weeks ago she held a living wake, giving her the chance to tell us good-bye personally. I was unable to attend the wake, but tipped a glass of wine in her honor as did several of her online friends. Since then she declined slowly, painfully, but still on her own terms.
There is no way to properly eulogize Patty. She was bold and funny and super friendly. I had the tremendous honor of meeting her in person several years ago. She greeted me as if we had been long time friends and quickly loaded me up with quirky gifts. I will never forget her easy generosity. For the last several months she posted a perky morning greeting on Facebook, usually welcoming the sunshine. Can we ever look at another sunrise and not think of her? Most simply, Patty reminds us to welcome each day with gratitude.
Her death was imminent and I thought of her daily, hoping she wasn't in pain. When I lost my friend David a few weeks ago I was sure Patty would die that same weekend, making me a slobbering mess losing two friends so close together. But Patty persisted, she had more farewells to say, more time to spend with her children.
When her time came, it was right. I thought I would cry, but I didn't. I have found happiness for her, for leaving on her terms, for living on her terms, for fighting in what she believed in. She is a strong woman and she reminded us to live and to live strong, loud, to be present.
I am a marked woman. I have had the honor of meeting, knowing, and being influenced by the most amazing person. If you have not had the honor, please read her blog. It's blunt and honest and beautiful to the end.
Shades of Blue
Pateeta, you were well loved and are already sorely missed. Thank you for touching our lives.
